From Tara to Hogwarts via Sunnydale

Smackdown at the Towers

2010-04-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

OK - so you guys all know I live at a retirement center. One of three towers actually in the group.

Well, Friday night there was a big fight out back between two young women - both in their 20's.

Why are 20 somethings living here? It is a HUD property and if they qualify under ADA because they are a little crazy!!!!! they can get in. Seems to me that is the majority of the population here now - explains a lot of things.

Like why one neighbor is so OCD that she jiggles her door know at lealst twelve times before she'll walk off - just has to be sure the door is locked and not coming open. I've seen it go on a full five minutes sometimes. Now, I just laugh to myself, but I'll bet she has to get a new doorknob soon.

Now, our mail is ready for pickup about 3:00 in the afternoon, at which time there is a rush on the mailboxes and I try to stay away. But, sitting back and watching, there is one man who checks his mailbox once an hour ALL DAY LONG!!!

Truthfully, it is sad. It's not fun nor fair when your mind won't work the way it was designed to, I'm sure neither of these two can help themselves at all and it's a blessing they can live on their own.

But, you gotta love the occasional smackdown!!

Loving, Wanting, Needing

2010-02-14T11:25:00.000-08:00

Today is Valentine's Day. For a lot of folks today, there will be demonstrations of how much they love each other - flowers, candy, balloons, plush, special dinners, sex!, and hopefully some time to reflect on what they really mean to each other.

I've spent a lot of time thinking this week, actually more like for a few months, about my life and why I am alone. I've made a few comments on facebook, etc. but I really have given it a lot of thought.

I was married for 14 years - and I wasn't happy for most of it. I stayed because I didn't want to hear "I told you so" from my mother and because I had two kids I thought really needed their dad to be there. I don't recall him ever taking me out on Valentine's Day for dinner - his idea of eating out was going thru the McDonald's drive thru! In the beginning he gave me some flowers - he was one of those men you'd see at Kroger on VD buying something. He did give me a card just about every year - it always made me wonder though - he signed the card "Rondal Martin" like I didn't know who he was and he never wrote anything else - although the cards were usually thoughtful and sweet.

This week I had an epiphany - my personality and character will not let me need someone!

I've given this a great deal of thought and am convinced this is true. I had been in love with others before Ronnie - but - there were lots of reasons those relationships didn't work out. When I realized I was falling in love with him, I wanted to be with him every second and I really felt like I needed him - in my life, beside me all the way, in good times and bad. I believed those words totally and completely.

But, I am a strong willed person and come from a long line of headstrong iron willed women. I don't think that is the problem - but after I was married, everytime I really needed Ronnie - needed him to support me and carry me for awhile, he let me down. Being pregnant with Renee was very hard - and I began to feel all alone. He didn't stay in town long enough to have our special dinner at the hospital or to drive me home - things I really needed him to do for me.

As the years went by - I found myself not relying on him for anything but trouble. I worked, I took care of the house, the kids and him. He brought home some money and gave me sex - that was the extent of his support for me. And, after years I evolved into a woman who would not let herself need anybody for anything. Years of hopes and plans being dashed and repeated failures time after time led me to never expect too much - to never need anyone else to do what they were supposed to - and the only rely on myself for what I needed. Expect nothing but failure unless I was 100% in charge and not depending on anyone else.

I've been separated from him almost eight years and I'm just now realizing all of this??? The walls I've built around me are too tall and two thick for anyone to ever penetrate. I'm at peace with that and just finally figuring it all out gives me a freedom I had not know before. It does make me sad too - I would have liked to share with someone again.

Meatloaf had a song back in the late 70's, early 80's where one line was "I want you, I need you, but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you. Don't feel back, 'cos two out of three ain't bad".

It takes all three for a loving caring healthy relationship.

The Weight of the World

2010-02-08T15:21:00.000-08:00

There are many days I feel the weight of the world is all on my shoulders. That's not true of course, but there are just times I feel like that.

I've been enjoying playlist.com and Amy turned me on the blip.fm. These are both great sites to find music and create playlists. I've enjoyed them because of music I remember from 'back when' and finding music that I don't own.

And, in listening to the lyrics and singing along to oldies and current favorites, I've realized that my favorite songs of all have a personal message I truly believe in or address the human condition - and most of the time the human condition is not good.

I suppose most music is lumped into those categories if I thought about it, but indulge me, I'm trying to make a point.

I'm sitting here wondering these things (and yes, it's from the eclectic mix of songs I've listened to today):

1 - what really matters - WHAT REALLY MATTERS? Is it how many toys you accumulate while on this planet? Or how big a bank account you can accrue? Or how many foreign countries you've visited. If any of these are true, I'm already behind the 8 ball!

2 - when I leave, what am I leaving behind? Now I've even mentioned that this song by Linkin Park (Leave the Rest Behind) be played at my funeral. But seriously, what am I leaving behind? What will I be remembered for? I'm a long way from having any money, so no buildings will carry my name or be named for me in honor of all my contributions! And, will I be missed? I'm sure Renee and Lynn will miss me - Amy and Ben too - but am I making enough of a contribution for anyone else to say "Man, I sure miss Lisa" or "man, I wish Lisa were here" when the time comes I've shuffled off this mortal coil?

3 - have I done anything to help anybody on this planet have a better life? I'd like to think so - I hope I have encouraged a few folks when they were down to keep plodding on - I hope I've shared as much knowledge as I can with people - and I hope that just by smiling at someone I didn't know, maybe their day was a little improved. But, that's just not enough. I can't go to a third world country and dig wells, I can't donate a million dollars to build a school somewhere, but I need to make more of a contribution to my fellow man.

4 - and in light of that - where do I go from here? I feel burdened for those less fortunate for even though I'm basically broke, live in a small 1 bedroom apartment and own an 8 year old van - I am so blessed with love. And, I'm content with where I am in life and the life I've led - I am not full of regrets so that each day is sorrowful and angry. BUT, I know there is something else I can do to help someone.

So - I feel the weight of the world and the vast needs that will go unmet today. My heart aches for the babies born today that will be addicted to crack at birth, and aches for those you are given healthy births, but make that decision later in life to use drugs. It's going to snow tonight - and if I still worked downtown - I would see some homeless people lining up on the sidewalk grates that blow warm air as I headed home. And, I wonder if everyone in my building has had supper tonight? There are a lot of hungry people in this world.

These feelings and my awareness of some of what goes on in the world, oh I have no doubts I know little of what is really bad, well, it shapes my daily routine, it shapes the way I think, what I say, how I vote, and what I teach my children. And, I believe each of us is personally responsible to try and improve the condition of our fellowman. I know I can't give money to a crack addicted person who asks - but I can bring them something to eat. I can't take anyone in to my home, but I can be charitable with my time and resources to help places that help homeless.

And I can pray. And pray a lot - every day - and many times during the day - even if it is a sentence prayer but even a few words mumbled or felt deep within, when there is true heartfelt emotion that accompanies them - are the prayers God wants us to pray for each other. That I can do plenty of - and I will do more tomorrow than I've done today.

Snow

2010-01-31T12:11:00.000-08:00

For the first time this year we got snow! About 5-6 inches or so - well - it's snow with ice on top and it's all glittery and shiny. It's been cold enough that it has not melted anywhere.

The main roads in Nashville have been scraped and they are pretty passable - side roads are still a mess. I'm sure there is no school again tomorrow - I haven't been out since Wednesday and don't expect to go out tomorrow - although I really do need to go to work. BUT, I'm sure I won't make it.

Lynn has my van - which scared me to death. The one good thing - he has broken the key and cannot unlock the door and if it was unlocked, he can't start the van. Amy and Renee have duplicate keys - but they are both snowed it. Thank God - Lynn can't be out driving on the slick roads.

I should never let him have the van - he was supposed to take care of some very important business Thursday morning - which he didn't of course - so I had let him take it. When I get it back, he'll never get it again. I've said that 100 times, but I have to stick to it. He's just so stupid and special needs that I feel sorry for him. That's for a whole other blog!

Where was I?

2010-01-21T16:55:00.000-08:00

Twenty one years ago right now I had finally gotten a little relief (epidural YES!) and was dozing off and on. We'd been at the hospital since 5:00 AM and it was plain to see that this child we're waiting on is taking her sweet time.

Just a little under 11 hours from now at 5:55 in the morning, my baby will be 21 years old!

Today I've done a lot of reflecting - some of the funnies, some of the hurts, some of the sads, and all of the love. Renee has been a pure joy to me from the moment I realized I was pregnant. At some point in her life, but not too soon, I hope she will know the joy of being a mom and how much you can love someone.

She is a very special young woman, and that's not just because I am her mom and maybe a little prejudiced. She is thoughtful and caring about everyone she meets. She has unusual empathy for children and the elderly - the folks here where I live think she is a doll! And she is!!

It's easy for me, when I start thinking about the last 22 years, to only remember the things I did wrong or the times I should have made a better decision. Renee reminds me everyday that I did a lot of things right!!

I picked Martina McBride's song "In My Daughter's Eyes" for Renee's part of the family video Amy and Ben put together. The words of that song were never more true for any two persons than for me and Renee - I may have been an okay person before she came, but she truly rescued me and made me try everyday to be a better person. I don't know how Martina sang that song - I'm crying right now.

Renee - I love you more than you can ever imagine! Thank you for being who you are!

Back on Internet at Home

2010-01-17T13:44:00.000-08:00

Yes - I am finally back on the Internet from home. I got a wireless modem and adapter and Ben came over and got it all hooked up and working! Thanks so much - I'd be lost without his help!!

It has been fun already - I've actually done some work for the flower shop, read emails, poked around a little, updated my blogs, and now I'm about to embark on the adventure thru fan fiction that my sister and daughter are so addicted to - this may be the last you hear from me if I get hooked.

Seriously, I can handle it!! Will let you know how the reading goes!

We are Each a Soul

2009-09-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

Lately, I hear so many folks saying so many negative things about other people. From the fights on Facebook over politics, to the crazy things that happen on television award shows, to the insane things talked about dead folks, and the one that prompted me to write this – the ignorant remarks of a few college students with whom my daughter has classes.

Each time I’ve heard these comments, read the posts, or generally been exposed to these things, my mind keeps going back to something I heard a little over a year ago. That remark I would like to share and excuse me, but preach for a minute or two.

On July 7, 2008 the plane carrying then presidential candidate Barack Obama had to make an emergency landing. Keep reading – when I was listening to the news reports that afternoon they were playing the tower to plane conversation. The pilot had already radioed that were in trouble and the tower knew it – the tower’s question to the pilot was “How many souls on board?”. The pilot went on to answer “56 souls on board”.

I must say I had an epiphany of sorts at that moment – it hit me like a Mack truck that regardless of WHO we are, we each and everyone have a soul. That soul is transparent to God, meaning it does not matter if you are Obama or the person on the plane that was there to keep water glasses filled, you are a SOUL!

Doesn’t matter how much we may disagree on political matters – makes for lively debate and hopefully, expansion of your mind. Doesn’t matter how ‘liberal’ you may think I am, or how ‘conservative’ you consider yourself. Doesn’t matter if you worshiped in a church with 1000 members on Sunday or if your prayers to God were moaned in desperation. Doesn’t matter if you’re fortunate to work for a corporation that can offer private health care at minimal expense to you or if you are a mother trying to raise your children and need an option to keep them healthy. Doesn’t matter if your dad wrote a check to pay your tuition in full or you are on a full ride scholarship because you worked your butt off in high school to be able to get the education you want.

All of these, and so many many more, are just examples of how we are different and how wonderful this world can be because of our differences. If each and every one of us could only remember that each and every other person was just a SOUL, imagine how wonderful this world would be!

Getting my Hopes Up

2009-08-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

I did this past week, I met someone whom I thought was very nice and he seemed to be very intelligent, well spoken, and thoughtful. But, as so often is the case, he was good at a ruse and true colors came out.

I feel somewhat disappointed, I don't really have any expectations, and I'm glad that I got my hopes up - that is a far cry from the way my life was for so many years I was married and a long time afterwards - I didn't have any expectations for success at anything - so that is progress.

But, I think I thought disappointment would feel different now. Nope, it's the same old thing. So glad it was only a small amount of time that I will not call wasted, just more education!!

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

2009-08-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

So I finally got to see the movie last night! I loved it and want to see it again soon - the book had so much more in it and I'm glad I had re-read the book a few weeks ago.

Daniel Radcliffe has grown up to be quite the hottie - I think I've got a crush on him and today say "R Pattz who?"!

Alan Rickman is one of my favorite actors - he looked the sexiest I've ever seen Snape look. Now, my history is one that clearly indicates I prefer the bad boys - and Snape is definitely the baddest of the bad - didn't help at all that he looked so hot!!

Harry Potter

2009-07-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

Well, it's looking like the 6th installment of the Harry Potter movies is going to do a phenomenal business. We plan to see it next Tuesday - Renee and Chris are going to take me.

I've been reading the book again since I really couldn't remember much of it - or thought I didn't. When the book came out, I devoured it in just a few hours, hence, the poor memory this many years down the road.

The re-read is being quite enjoyful! I do remember it, but I'm not in such a hurry anymore so I'm taking my time to digest and really see what is going on. It's funny - there are a lot of clues to future relationships in this book - I just didn't see them the first time through!

Health and Weight

2009-06-24T12:19:00.001-07:00

Today I am trying something new – I am creating my post in Word to put on both blogs. The updates are something I’d post to both and this will make it easier, I think. This is just a quick update to kinda where I am – I have so much to blog about on my health but it’s all going on the pathway page.

I ‘ve seen my doctor again – June 9 to be exact. I had gained 17 pounds and it was obvious that it was all fluid in my legs. Reason for that, off and on meds so much because of the other problem. Somehow, related or not, taking all of my meds (both blood pressures and the diuretic) seemed to make the bleeding so much worse. Now, the doctor didn’t understand why that could be happening, but he wasn’t too worried about the gain since it was all fluid and would come off soon enough. This is a process of getting a problem resolved and I will not be too discouraged.

I am so enjoying the CSA box I get on Wednesdays. Last week we had snow peas, new potatoes, broccoli, lettuce, green onions, white radishes (and boy were they hot) and another quart of strawberries. I have enjoyed every single morsel!! And really looking forward to today’s box – I believe we will have squash and maybe even some green beans!!

My grocery shopping two weeks ago has done well. I did buy a couple of Healthy Choice dinners for the “I’m tired” night that works much better than stopping at McDonalds!

Now, is there a twelve step program for McDonalds? I do believe I am addicted – I will wake up in the morning thinking that a sausage egg mcmuffin would be great for breakfast – especially since they are only $1.00 right now.

Update # 1 June 24

2009-06-24T12:18:00.001-07:00

Moved In

2009-05-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I am finally moved in and settled! It has taken close to a month. Moving date was supposed to be April 25 - but - was delayed a week because I spent 5 days in the hospital.

I will try to make some pictures and upload - it's really cute and I'm very much enjoying it. It's nice and cool and very quiet. I have a 6x9 foot closet that I've turned into a craft room - which is very exciting to me! I actually have time to do some of the projects I've been accumulating for years. I plan to do that too - there are quilts to be quilted - wreaths to be made, purses to be sewn and decorated, and I have a ton of cross stitch stuff as soon as I can get new glasses and some kind of magnifier that works for me!

More later!

My New Apartment

2009-04-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

I went today and viewed an apartment I have agree to take. Very exciting! It is a small one bedroom, but it has plenty of room for me and Isaiah. It's about 600 square foot - but - I'll have everything I need and I will be able to take care of it.

I've had about 1500 sq foot for 6 years, and the last year I have really struggled to keep it maintained. I am looking forward to something much more manageable.

Great view out my windows - a lovely grassy area, gazebo, and the campus library which is a beautiful building.

Will be moved by the end of the month! YEAH!!

Another Class Reunion!

2009-04-05T14:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, got the invite yesterday. Glencliff's Class of 1979 is having their 30 year reunion in early June and they've invited those from surrounding years. It really is a nice way to have a large turnout of folks and see the most folks you can.

I need to RSVP a big yes - I'm looking forward to going to this one as a guest only. I had a ball last fall, believe me, but this time I can just kick back and relax. Heck, I may even get a DD and throw a few back while I'm at it!

I loved high school - it was a great deal of fun, more than I realized at the time. I wanted both of my kids to love it, Renee did and had a ball. Lynn didn't - well - not the school part and he loved the social scene just a little too much. Good days those were!

Mass Killings are Very Disturbing to Me

2009-04-04T08:31:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, a recently unemployed immigrant, who apparently had not mastered English, walked into a community center in Binghamton New York and killed 13 or 14 others before taking his own life.

These kind of things have become way too common, some news I was watching this morning said this was the 3rd such atrocity in America within the last month. That doesn't seem real to me.

I know that times are so very hard. Everyone I know has had to tighten their belts in some ways and there are some folks who are so barely getting by, I can't imagine how they feel. Four years ago, when I first had to start the disability process, I was scared to death and almost in a panic on how we'd survive, especially if I didn't get approved the first time thru. I remember the overwhelmedness and the tears, I cried and cried, until I was just sick. I was blessed beyond words, and while it's not been easy, we've made it pretty good.

I can't imagine if all of that went away suddenly and I had to face losing everything. But, I don't think there's any inkling in my mind that my method of operation would be to load up weapons and take out as many folks as I can. That's the part I don't understand, so maybe, while I think I've known desperate times, I haven't.

Or maybe, it's just that I was raised that when the going gets tough, well, the tough get going! My parents always advocated hard work, no matter what, and no matter how bad something got, there was a way out if you put your mind and back into it. That's so deeply ingrained in me I suppose I can't imagine ever giving up.

If I ever thought I had to give up though, I don't think it would involve hurting anyone else. What's the sense in that? Of course, none of these episodes make sense.

A Change is Coming

2009-03-31T14:22:00.001-07:00

So I've been talking about moving for awhile now, and planning on it. But, something happened today that makes it all the more real and so so soon.

My son, no stranger to problems, it seems, has been causing quite a few problems in the neighborhood with his car and friends. As of today, I have a 30 day notice to leave the premises from which I live.

Now, as of today, I no longer have a lease to hold anyone to - so I'm grateful for the 30 days. She could technically have given me 3 and I'd be up a creek in a big way.

I've been packing and sorting since November, but I think I'd better step up the pace. The next few days will be rather hectic.

Moving Day is Coming!

2009-03-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

So - everything is set at Trevecca. All I need now is an apartment. Right now there is not a one bedroom open, but he thinks there will be soon. So, I will wait. At this point, as long as I get moved before the worst heat of the summer I'd be good - I hate trying to come in across that deck in August and September. It faces west, so you can only imagine how hot it gets - you will feel like you're going to die just trying to get the door unlocked.

I noticed yesterday that Kmart has their bedding plants, etc. all out and the fenced part of the parking lot with soil, etc. That is the sign I always look for that spring is about to be here! I may go ahead a get a couple of hanging baskets - I have usually let them die about half way thru the summer - so maybe I'll get to enjoy them for awhile.

I have made a list - that's where I always start - with the list. It seems rather daunting right now, but I'm sure it will get better.

Anniversary

2009-03-25T10:00:00.001-07:00

Today would have been my 21st wedding anniversary, had I stayed married.

It probably sounds crazy, but I always remember this date and reminisce some about how it used to be. I suppose time does heal all wounds because I don't feel the extreme animosity toward my ex-husband like I once did and I am able to talk about funny or good things that happened. I can even talk about the bad without getting mad or crying.

I actually saw him yesterday. He was in Nashville for physical therapy and came by the house - I had a letter from the child support office he needed a copy of. Both of the kids were here so he got to see them and we sat at the dining room table and talked. He played with Isaiah who promptly spit and hissed like no tomorrow at him!

He has aged, and the years haven't been too kind to him either. Now, we are both just older sicker people who don't need to waste any time on hate or revenge. But, I think we must have reached a point of being able to deal with each other respectfully. It's about time!

Next Stop, Forks Washington

2009-03-23T15:50:00.000-07:00

So the DVD's came out this weekend! Amy and Renee were at Borders on West End Friday night to get the special edition they had for sale and to get the GQ magazine in which Rob Pattinson had a spead. Woo hoo!!

Amy hit Target early Saturday morning for more purchases, since their special edition would be different. That's the one I got - has two extra discs of deleted scenes, commentary, etc.

We went to Amy and Ben's to watch the movie Saturday afternoon. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed seeing it. At the theatres, the screen had been just a little too big and I had to sit pretty close (wheelchair seating), so, watching it on their television was awesome. I made a tossed salad and got donuts, Amy got pizza and crazy bread! We had a really nice time!

I haven't watched the movie again at home, but I probably will tomorrow. I'm not working and will probably treat myself to at least 1/2 day in bed!

Edward is the bomb!

Only 7 more Days!

2009-03-14T08:57:00.000-07:00

Twilight comes out on DVD next Saturday!! I haven't seen the movie since early January - so I am very ready to see it.

Amy plans to be at Target that morning when they open to purchase our copies. And later that day, we're getting together at her house to watch it on the big television. Now, to call Amy and Ben's television a big screen would be just rude - their television is more like a movie screen. Their den is awesome and it's quite exciting to watch things on their t.v. Once we were there watching an Ozzy concert, it was just like being at the real thing. The sound system is great and I just can't wait to be there next weekend!

We're going to get pizza too - maybe we'll watch it more than once! I'm not even sure what time we're supposed to be there, but I'll bet Amy will have already watched it once by the time we get there!

ummm - Robert Pattinson up close and personal!

Rain, Sleet, Snow, Ice, Hail

2009-03-12T10:27:00.000-07:00

I think we've seen it all in the last 24 hours. I've decided to stay home again today - it's just too messy and my jaw still hurts and is sore. I don't see any reason to go outside and make it worse - and there's nothing better than sitting up in bed all day on a rainy day!

Except of course, I've gotten up, showered, ate something, and am sitting at the computer with the idea that I will finish the reunion yearbook and get it to the printer tomorrow. I'd also like to make some progress on the history project I've been working on - I have just about 3 weeks to try and finish up most of it - and I really need to get that done. Dreading it is what holds me back, but when I get started it usually rolls right along.

I think dreading something is the worst - and I'm really trying not to do that - just to tackle it headon and get it over with. I think I used to be like that - but I suppose as some things got really hard, or I had a physical reason to put something off - my approach changed. I'm working hard now to get that 'get 'er done' mentality back!

It was 80 Degrees yesterday - and Snow is forecast!

2009-03-11T10:52:00.000-07:00

Yep - it was 80 degrees here in Nashville yesterday. Today it is a windy 44 and snow is predicted for the week hours of the morning. I don't expect we'll get any accumulation since the ground will be so warm, but then again, I should be prepared.

I imagine there is a run at Kroger right now - and I should have gone yesterday. The only thing in my fridge today is a few condiments, an 8 oz package of cream cheese and a small bag of baby carrots!

That doesn't bother me - there's crackers and peanut butter, plus all kinds of stuff in the pantry - but it is rather funny to watch my 18 year old son open the fridge and look at all the space. And, he'll do it again knowing I have not left the house like he thinks something will magically appear. No Lynn, the carrots will not grow into turkey and Doritos!

That's one of those things about men that I will never understand and for which I do not think there is any other explanantion except that they are brain damaged. Yes, they are brain damaged and science proves it.

Well, I suppose that it is for me today - I'm rather lethargic today - must be the weather!

Dental Woes

2009-03-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

Oh me - I woke up Saturday morning with a tooth doing a dance in my head! I mean it was stomping!! There is nothing worse than it being a Saturday or Sunday morning that a tooth wakes you about 3:00 AM dancing a jig. I hope you never feel it, but believe me, if you do you'll remember what I've said today.

I saw the dentist today - there is a plan of action but he will have to go over it with my medical doctor since there are so many obstacles in the way there, and no many meds. The medical doctor says I'll be back on Lovenox, ugh! It's just part of life though, and this wouldn't be so bad if I'd kept up with my oral health. I had not been in 6 years - and that was when another tooth was dancing a jig!

So I will get all cleaned up, scaled, get some fillings, one tooth pulled, and I'll keep up with it from this point on - good dental health is indicative of good heart health and it is far more important than I've let it be, take care of your teeth!!

Movie Quotes

2009-03-08T12:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed just how much movies will impact your life? Especially that movie that you really liked and have watched multiple times.

In my house, we are constantly using lines from movies in our conversation with each other. In fact, my 18 year old son, Lynn, and I can not have a conversation that one of us does not pull a line from the Friday trilogy of movies. The first "Friday" is my favorite! I've probably seen it 50 times, which is only maybe a third of how many times Lynn has seen it.

"you ain't got to lie" - what I say to him just about every time he comes in and I asked him where he's been.

"dang, we ain't never got nothing" - that's Lynn when he opens the refrigerator door.

"What's up Big Perm, uh, Big Worm?" - that's just the way Lynn says hello to me most of the time.

I have to say this - Lynn and I have gone several rounds of yelling, cussing, screaming, slamming doors, just about everything except throwing punches. But, when it's all over one of us will quote something from Friday and we both laugh.

Should have seen us the other day, we were going down Nolensville Road and saw a man walking who looked just like Ezell from the movie. Hat on cockeyed, etc. everything! We were screaming laughing, "You can't catch no crackhead!"

And, a Friday never passes around here that I don't say, "It's Friday, you ain't got no job, you ain't got s**t to do!".

I say the family that laughs together, stays together!

Yearbook Woes

2009-02-28T17:07:00.000-08:00

Remember the class reunion, oh what almost 6 months ago now? I had this grand idea to publish a yearbook - and I anticipated huge sales, etc. Ha ha ha!!

Then lots of things happened, and I've still not finished the yearbook. But I am very close. I finally got most everything in - I'm just working on captions for the pictures now. I sure hope I can take it to the printer this week and get it back before Friday!! Then I will be done!

For sure I will be done with that project - I only have maybe two more until I can really retire. I've still got to finish the history project for which a hard deadline of May 31 has been set. That's good, because obviously for two years left to my own I've not made it a priority.

The only other thing I think is to write up a brief history of my side of town for a cookbook that is being published this spring and submit my recipes to her for inclusion.

Oh yeah, and pick out an apartment, pack, move and unpack, get both of the kids moved and settled. Not much to do between now say April 1? I'll never make that - I'm shooting for June 1 on the moves!

He Got His LIcense!

2009-02-28T17:04:00.000-08:00

Well, we passed a huge milestone on Friday. My son passed the written part of the driver's exam on Thursday and was able to get an appointment for the driving portion on Friday, which he passed!! FINALLY!!!

He was difficult to teach, at best. His first statement to me in the van was "Don't tell me anything until I do something wrong!" To which I responded, "That won't work, I am a big woman and it'll take a crane to get me out of her if you turn me over in a ditch". Needless to say, there was more yelling and grunting than I'd ever experienced teaching Renee.

But, at last now he can drive somewhat legally. He has not been added to the car insurance - I don't think I can pay for an 18 year old male - but I plan on him getting a car I've lined up later this week and I'll help him get it started, but insurance will be up to him to pay.

Oscar Today!

2009-02-22T13:05:00.000-08:00

Tonight is the Oscars! There has been a time I would have seen everyone of the movies being nominated - no more! In fact, I haven't seen a one of the movies that are nominated!

But, I will watch anyway. I like to look at the dresses, the hair, the jewelry and the shoes, especially the shoes! I always had a thing about shoes - kinda ironic to me since my feet are so messed up I can't wear anything but Birks - but I love cool shoes!

AND, Rob Pattinson is one of the presenters tonight. I'd watch if I hated everything else about the show, just to see him!

New Blog

2009-02-20T13:10:00.001-08:00

Hey there constant readers!

Well, I stole that from my favorite author - Stephen King!

I haven't been posting much lately, too much going on, especially with my health.

That being said, I've started a new blog where I've documented quite a bit already about where I'm starting from and my recently diagnosed health issues. I plan to keep both blogs - I'm just so determined to make a difference in my life and want to share what I find that works (and doesn't) for anyone who may face some of the same issues.

You can check it out a www.pathwaytoahealtierlife.blogspot.com. There are and will be a lot of personal reflections, and for the first time ANYWHERE, I've actually posted what I weigh. That may be a major mistake, but I have to face it and hope that my struggle will encourage any or all of you to take control of you own struggle with weigh and related health problems before it's too late!

The Inauguration

2009-01-21T11:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I sat up in bed until after 12:00 PM watching the inauguration. I should have gone to work much earlier than I did - but then again - things like this only happen once in 4 years and I may not live to see the next one.

It was quite a site! I like the pomp and circumstance of the dignitaries being introduced, especially the former and sitting Presidents and their wives.

I found myself tearing up several times during the ceremony. I can only imagine if I was 20 years older how this would have felt. I remember so many things from the 1960's and 70's that I can recognize and respect that this was truly a HUGE milestone for our country and the world.

And, I truly hope that those who have had qualms or fears will unite with everyone else and truly work to return this country to a time of prosperity and peace!

It Don't Get Better than Skynyrd!

2008-12-31T11:58:00.000-08:00

Today my son asked me a question - first, I guess it was rhetorical because I'm sure he knew what the answer was going to be, but second, I was glad he asked!

He came out of his room and said "Mom, you know that song "Freebird? Isn't that the greatest rock and roll song ever? What is the greatest rock and roll song ever?"

I'm quite sure I said something like, "heck yeah it's Freebird - wanna hear it?" Took me about 10 seconds to start it playing on playlist - the version I have is the live one from "One More From the Road". Of course, I am saying the words Ronnie Van Zant said just right before he said them.

I did tell him that I was a redneck thru and thru, Southern born and bred and damn glad of it!

There may be hope for him yet!

MySPACE is Out!

2008-12-28T18:49:00.000-08:00

Well, I had gotten a myspace. The big deal for me was to keep up with what then 16 year old Lynn and 18 year old Renee was putting on theirs. Lynn dumped his a few months ago and I don't know if Renee looks at hers or not. But, I'm going to delete mine.

I never look at it, well, unless I get an email that I've got a message. Most of the time I was working on the class reunion, it was a good way to message folks but we had a special myspace for that. And, then to cap it all off - Myspace has deleted playlists!

I love playlist.com - something I've said often! I have about 10 different lists with themes, eras, etc. I even have Ms. Lisa's Wedding and Ms. Lisa's Funeral list!!! I know the funeral is coming - wedding, maybe, maybe not, but I'm ready if it does!

I'm on Facebook now - send me a friend request - still Lisa Martin, still me!

I Love This Kid!

2008-12-27T13:08:00.000-08:00

He is so damn cute! I must have watched this 100 times already!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8aprCNnecU

What Does This Mean?

2008-12-27T12:22:00.000-08:00

A couple of nights ago I had a dream. Not that unusual of course, but this dream has a recurring person and theme and it's been going on for years. So, I've had this thought that if I bear my soul about it on my blog one of two things will happen. The dream will end OR I will reach some level of understanding within myself on why it happens.

At least 4 times a year - maybe more - I dream about a classmate of mine. I first met Marvin when my family moved onto Desoto Drive in Nashville when we came here in 1969. He lived up the street and was in the classroom I was assigned to when I went to school. In fact, the teacher sat me in the desk next to him.

Marvin was a cute little boy - blond hair and blue eyes - and even at 8 years old that combination was already my favorite. We finished out the school year, only 17 days, and during that time the principal let us know we were in the wrong school. That's a whole other blog - the craziness of school zoning, but for the purpose of this one, I went to a different school in 4th and 5th grade than Marvin did. We still saw each other - he was just up the street - and as weather permitted the street kids would gather at our house to play ball or in the vacant lot next to his to climb on a big tree that had fallen.

In 6th grade, we ended up in the same school again, and stayed that way until we graduated in 1978. We were always on the same bus, and, in high school, would catch a ride with someone if the bus didn't come or if Rickey was driving his 1957 Chevy. I think thru the years we only had 2 or 3 classes together, but we sat together on the bus quite a bit.

We didn't always travel in the same circles either. Marvin played football, I was a band kid! I was Miss Goodie Two Shoes (according to my brothers!) and Marvin walked the fence of danger! I was in the Top Ten and I think Marvin was glad to make the graduation requirements! Get the picture? But there is more to this, through the years I don't think anyone ever knew that we were closer than it appeared. Years of riding the bus and the conversations, and just the camaraderie that we'd built from knowing each other since we were 8 years old.

Sometimes I say crazy stuff - Marvin never missed an opportunity to peg me if I'd said something that was insane or if it left open a window of innuendo for him to prank on me or laugh at me. Example - one day in chemistry - we were about to do an experiment and I couldn't get my Bunsen burner to light. I said OUT LOUD!! "I need someone to light my fire". He never let me forget that!

After graduation, I didn't see Marvin so much. I went off to Bowling Green for a little while, he went to Murfreesboro. But, for sure I'd see him on the street sometimes and we'd stop and talk - or - on Halloween when I was walking Amy around the neighborhood we could catch up for a few minutes. The last time I saw Marvin I was walking my own kids around mom's neighborhood on Halloween - we would have been 32 at that point. He laughed at me and said I had my hands full with Lynn!

Sometime in the next year or two, Marvin killed himself. He had been married and had two little boys and I understand going through a bad divorce. My mom called me at work to tell me - I can still recall the numbness I felt at that moment. And, sixteen years later I still wonder if maybe just one more person could have gotten to him - if only I'd seen him that day to make him laugh or remember good times - if only.

I've never reconciled myself to the fact that he's gone. We've lost plenty of others from the class of '78. Those hurt, but, none like my friend Marvin.

And, periodically, almost like clockwork, the pain resurfaces because I dream about him. We are always somewhere at the same time with a big group of GHS alumni - but they are all fuzzy except him. And, in my dreams, we converse. Like we did back then about bands (we were both big Grand Funk Railroad fans) or music (like Van Halen or which album I should buy David Agee for Christmas because I had his name) or which girl he really liked (he told me liked Susie Williams at least a month before he started talking to her).

I know what the Holy Bible says about suicide, but I hope oneday when I'm gone, I'll see my friend again. I want to hug him and tell him I never stopped loving him.

Sometimes I'm Slow

2008-12-14T15:45:00.000-08:00

to catch on - but boy when I do! Lately I am so obsessed with Twilight I can't think of anything else. I've convinced Renee to take me again this week to the movie - she's out of school after Tuesday for the semester end!

I have only listened to the soundtrack in the van for over a week, and last night driving some of Lynn's friends home had them all mad because I would not allow them to touch the stereo - they normally only listen to rap like they are in a union or something - BUT - last night they got exposed to some culture!

The characters in Twilight - my favorite changes everyday. Today I am liking Emmett because he is funny - especially during the baseball game and when Bella comes to the house. He waves while holding a big butcher knife. Killen Lutz plays Emmett - the best part is in the cafeteria scene when the vampires have food, Killen doesn't know that vamps don't eat and he is eating the food!

The character of Alice is precious - having read all of the books I know a little bit about the future, which only endears her more to me in Twilight. She is too cute - but all of them are outrageously gorgeous!

I love vampires!

More on Twilight

2008-12-07T12:30:00.001-08:00

Well, I went to see the movie again yesterday. It was only my 2nd time to see it - but I LOVED IT!!! way better than the 1st time. I was past the excitement of just trying to see what was going on, and I had read most of the book again. I was able to really watch things and pay attention to the music - which is a major part of making this movie as special as it is!

While I realize this movie is not going to win any Oscars - I have to say that I have enjoyed it as much as any movie I've seen for a long long time. It will be on my list to buy as soon as it's released on DVD so that I can see it whenever I want to! I've bought all four books, the movie guide, and the soundtrack. I almost never buy a CD and only buy groups/bands that I truly love!

I'm changing my blog list of music to my playlist for Twilight.

BTW - it does not hurt that Robert Pattinson, who plays the part of Edward Cullen, is a drop dead gorgeous hunk of manliness!

Updates!

2008-12-03T17:10:00.000-08:00

First, let me apologize for not blogging more often! So much has happened and some of it has taken a very large toll on me. Honestly, I'm on one 20mg Prozac a day, but I don't think it's enough. I've started a new vitamin regimen and includes a B Complex to see if I can get my mental outlook improved.

I will get around to sharing all of the bad things - right now let me tell you about something very exciting!

I went to see Twilight almost two weeks ago! Amy had bought tickets for a special screening - she and I, Renee and Meaghan went out to Cool Springs to view the movie! IT WAS AWESOME! I loved it! Everyone else has seen it 3 or 4 times. I will see it for the 2nd time this Saturday - I am so excited!!

More later, BUT, if you've not read the book please do so!! It will bring back the sweetest memories of your life!

Isaiah

2008-11-23T11:45:00.000-08:00

About 4 weeks ago, the Sunday after Halloween, I arrived at church and found that one of the families had a couple of kittens with them. They smaller children had actually received this kittens when trick or treating a few nights before!

First, let me say I was appalled that someone, an adult even, gave away kittens to trick or treaters! If you have puppies or kittens, I believe it is your responsibility to try to place them in good homes where they are wanted and can be cared for. These kids stay with their grandmother, and she's a very nice lady, but she can't afford and doesn't need two kittens!

So, one of them was a little tabby striped cat, somewhat gray but with a lot of brown. And, he was so sweet when I was holding him, so the sucker that I am brought him home! I told myself he would be Renee's cat - Moo Moo is gone, a blog I'm not ready to do - and this one kitten would help her with the grief besides being great fun.

So, into our world came Isaiah. She wanted something biblical for him and started out with Leviticus, Levi for short. But Chris, the boyfriend, didn't like that so they agreed on Isaiah. Being a young kitten and being quite mouthy, I kept him the first night. The 2nd night he stayed with Renee in her room and the next morning she announced his named had been changed again, still biblical, but to Lucifer! That was a joke! He is still Isaiah!

He is the sweetest little thing I've ever seen! He lets me hold him like a baby and most of the time I can't do anything for holding him! He's been to the vet once already - who promptly announed that he was barely 4 weeks old when we got him - no wonder he was so mouthy! Right now, he's about 8 weeks old and getting really funny playing, etc. He eats good and is improving (some intestinal problems).

I call him my 'grandcat' - he's the only thing considered a grandchild I want to see for a few more years!

Blogging Writer's Block

2008-11-15T16:27:00.001-08:00

I think I've suffered a bad case of that recently - I hadn't had any ideas to write about or anything I wanted to say. Things have been a little rough.

The week before Halloween I fell on the deck one morning. I'd argued with myself all morning about staying home, but it was payday and I was so broke, I thought I had to get out anyway. But, halfway across the deck I started sliding and I knew I was going down. It seemed like slow motion for sure and it didn't seem to hurt so very much, right then.

Because I was on tab warfarin and injections of Lovenox at the moment, my knees were already black with brusing by the time I got myself set up. The cell phone was gone from it's pouch on my purse, so I looked, rather nervously, over the side of the deck to see if it had hit the ground. Not seeing it, I laid myself back down, yep, I was sitting on it!

Saying a quick prayer of thanks that it hadn't gone over the deck and was still working - I called my son who was inside asleep. He came outside quickly while I sat on the deck, in the pouring rain, and covered me up with a throw I keep in the living room. Oh yeah, I had noticed my right pinky finger was broken - it looked like the zig zag road sign! so I had set it myself. Again, no pain, right then!

After surveying the situation, I decided the best way for me to get back to a standing position was to scoot myself over to the steps and let my legs hang over them, then pull myself to a standing position using the rails. Lynn stood in front of me so I wouldn't topple down the steps and spotted me after I got in a standing position so I could make the turn around and come up the three steps to the deck landing. Oh Lord, I have to try to walk across the deck again!

Lynn ran in the house and grabbed the throw rugs I use in the dining room and put them down on the deck, creating a dry and non skid surface for me to walk into the house on - where I went to my room, peeled off the wet clothes, put my gown back on, and climbed in the bed.

I did call the doctor - they said to come in!! That would have just hurt so much worse - so I didn't go. Renee did come home from work and went and got me a finger brace. After three weeks, my finger is still swolen but it is improving.

The pain did come - in major waves - between my finger, the knees and my right foot. Any lick it gets causes major bruising, etc. because of the metal plates. And, the cell phone died a couple of days later - I'm sure it's terminality started on the deck that morning!

I'm still black and blue around my knees, but it is improving too. I tell you what, I have been so very careful not to fall because it was cause significant pain and damage AND I am a big woman, getting me back upright is not an easy task. So, while it's early November I have made a vow, if it's raining or less than 30 degrees outside, I'm in - no exceptions!

Oh yeah, while I was sitting on the deck trying to figure out how to get up - the girl I work part time for called and said since it was so nasty outside and everyone else was at work, for me to stay home and inside!! They are all a great bunch and called and checked on me since I didn't make it back into work for about a week!

Glad I can laugh about it now!!

Really Slacking Lately

2008-11-01T14:17:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I've really been way off in the blogging biz lately. Lot of things going on, some good, some bad, the usual I guess you could say. Today - I need to do some housekeeping of sorts!

First - don't forget that Tuesday is Election Day. If you have no early voted, please please plan to make it to the polls. We're voting to save our lives here folks - and while some of you disagree with m on who the liferope is, be sure and get out and cast your vote!

A funny here - several of Renee's friends have blasted her big time over her support of Obama - and they've said plenty of hurtful and spiteful things. The funny is - they aren't even registered to vote! So, while Renee voted very early for her man, they've only got their words to stand on this year!

Second - don't forget that Twilight starts November 21. The books were incredible and the movie trailers look great - I can't wait!! I will say this, and I continue to say it - my next husband is going to be a vampire!

Third - I've got new wheels! Didn't want to do this - but the other van was terminal and although I don't like the way it happened, Lynn finally killed it dead so I was forced to buy something. I am saying the new van is nice - it's pretty plain but it's cute, the windows go up and down, the AIR CONDITIONER WORKS!!!, it has two working headlamps and I can actually lock the doors. Pretty amazing how cars are supposed to work, and how you can make do if you have to!

Fourth - Christmas is coming! Start saving now! Seriously, I think we all want to really downplay it this year in our home.

I'm sure I have so much more to say, etc. but I'm just glad to have had the time to do this and that I finally remembered the password!

Ignorance and the Political Sign

2008-10-22T11:42:00.001-07:00

So it's no joke that i am a died in the wool Democrat. I was born into a Democratic family and raised that way. I have voted for a Republican twice in my lifetime - probably just weak moments if the truth be known when I had not educated myself enough to know and may not have even been in my right frame of mind.

That being said, this year I've volunteered some time and GIVEN MONEY to the Obama campaign. I don't have alot of money - that's why it's in all caps.

My sister and her husband made a nice donation to procure a 4 x 8 foot sign and since I live on a big corner lot, decided to put it up in my yard to get maximum exposure. No problems there, right. NOT!

They spent about $50.00 on the supplies to put the sign up and spent a couple of hours making sure it was secure, etc. That was Saturday.

Sunday - pretty nice day with no real problems.

Monday - first I get a call from the office of the property owners telling me the sign has to go. I live in a housing development that was funded by Low Income Housing Tax Credits, a federally funded program, and I suppose one of their rules says you cannot advertise for anything federally political. Don't know for sure, don't really care at this point.

BECAUSE - when I got home Monday evening, the sign had been kicked down. OK - so it can go and we'll put it somewhere else safer.

Lynn (my son) recovered the sign and the $50.00 worth of rebarb and tie downs - the sign was not destroyed - and we can reinstall it somewhere - God knows I wish it could be the roof after what took place Tuesday night.

Tuesday evening about 8:30 Lynn and one of his friends discovered there was a fire in my side yard. Upon investigation, there were three McCain/Palin signs put up and one Obama sign (the small yard type I'm sure stolen from somewhere in the neighborhood). The Obama sign had been torched, the can of accelerant was laying on the ground.

But, little did the perps know my neighbor was watching EVERYTHING and they are so fricking stupid - they are boys she knew from down the street. She came over to my house, she had already called the police, and they came shortly. A report has been filed and it's labeled as a 'hate crime' which brings in bigger guns and more punishment.

My kids were very upset - Renee cried and cried because she is tired of being treated different because she is bi-racial. She has experienced more racial prejudice at the Christian based univeristy she attends than I could have ever taught or exposed her to in a lifetime. She left her bedroom window up last night so she could hear if they came back - they did - but only in drivebys yelling "we hate niggers" each time.

My son, well, I hope he doesn't do anything stupid. He left the house after I begged him not to and to let the authorities handle it. He has no faith in the justice system at all.

Yes, I will pursue prosecution to the fullest extent of the law, even though I fear retaliation and further abuse and harassment. But, I will not live in fear nor back down from what I believe.

You want to know the best part - these young men are over 18 and guess what - neither Dumb Ass is registered to vote!! How much more ignorant can you get?

Renee's First Car

2008-10-13T17:27:00.000-07:00

My daughter bought her first car Saturday! It is the cutest little car I've ever seen and I am so very proud of her!

I would have given her a car the day she turned 16, if it had been possible. She's never questioned me, or fussed or argued with me about not having her own set of wheels. She's been great about sharing the one vehicle we've had - especially when she had to go early or wait on me because our schedules didn't exactly mesh.

I've felt so bad that I had not been able to buy her a car - but she was always "It's ok momma". Thank God she's not been as hard on me as I've been on myself that I didn't pulll it off. There's always been something else that took precedence, like the roof and food.

A few years back, my sister Amy and her husband, Ben, did a video for our family for Christmas. It's so awesome I can't fully describe it, but it starts with pictures of our parents as children, then them getting married and us kids, each of us had our own 'song' and each grandchild had their own song that backgrounded the pictures.

Searching for a song for the kids first seemed like a daunting task to me - but - about that time Martina McBride had released "In My Daughter's Eyes". It's the most beautiful song I've ever heard, and I still can't hear it without balling like a baby. But it's true, for Renee changed me. I saw the person I wanted to be in her newborn eyes, a good example, an upstanding person, someone who never hurt her, embarass her, or make her anything than proud to call me "Mom"! She was truly sent from God to rescue me!

Renee, you've worked so hard and been so very patient - I am so happy for you and I am proud of you and I love you very much!

Mom

Waffling Down the House

2008-10-10T18:02:00.000-07:00

Something pretty amazing happened this week. Lynn got his first 'real' job working at the Waffle House.

Now, this is significant for so many reasons, but probably the most important being that maybe, just maybe, he has decided that he has to really become the adult he so desperately wants to be.

He started on Wednesday and spent the first two days in training. As mom, I watched as he got himself up - I didn't have to wake him, threaten him, coax him, threaten him again, or any of the usual activities that take place with Lynn has to be somewhere before late afternoon. He got up, got ready, had the appropriate clothes on, and seemed relatively happy about going. In fact today, he has worked two shifts - this morning 8 to noon and tonight 5 - 9.

Now, he's hourly pay is pretty pathetic - like most restaurant jobs it's just a little over $2.00 per hour - but - if he does good he can make pretty good in tips. He got a taste of that today when one man left him $4.00. Can't begin to tell you how much confidence that raised in him.

Lynn has struggled, mostly against me, but the root of it has been his own self-confidence. The big bad wolf persona had to come out to cover up that. As his mother, I've known that only too well and been the brunt of most of his anger, etc.

But today, well, I see the young man beginning to emerge that I've known was there from day one!

BUT, don't let me take any credit for this! No, GOD is faithful and prayers are being answered minute by minute.

Think About How You Will Really Feel

2008-10-08T18:03:00.000-07:00

First, let me say I watched Hillary Clinton say something along this line, but I just have to expand on it.

In your mind - skip ahead 3 weeks, 6 days today was Election Day - and after you'd worked all day, stood in line to vote, got the kids fed, put in a load of clothes, homework, kids to bed, maybe ran a load of dishes too, talked to your mom, had a late supper with your significant other - my point is that you've had a full day and you are watching the returns, but the tiredness and fatigue take over before the election is called. You have to go to sleep. There is no shame, you must take care of yourself.

But, you go to sleep without knowing what's happened. And the next morning you wake up and it's the first thing on your mind. Hoping for the best, praying it's a good result, but wanting to avoid disappointing news as long as possible, you lollygag around. Hillary said you take 10 minutes to brush your teeth and make really strong coffee - but finally you have to know.

So, you turn on Diane and Robin or Matt and Ann, you logon your computer, or you call your best friend and you ask "Well, what's the verdict?"

How are you going to feel with they say "Obama won". Me, I'm going to be elated. I will know that there is a chance in hell I can get out of debt and get these kids out on their own, Renee will be able to finish school and if Lynn does join the Armed Forces, maybe I won't have to watch him fly off to Iraq to come back mangled and mutilated, alive or not. I'll know I can truly retire next year and rest these bones. I think some of the worried look will leave my face and I'll believe, again, there is a good future. I'll know that my brothers and sisters, all working class, tax-paying, law abiding citizens have a chance too - they can begin to breathe and see a light at the end of the tunnel.

But, if I have to hear "McCain took it", well my deflated sails will shrink even more. I'll begin to wonder how we'll eat this winter, how I'll ever pay the light bill, how I'm going to put gas in the one vehicle we have that takes three of us to work and school, and my tiredness will overwhelm me. I'm not a spendthrift, I budget and try to plan for the rainy days, but on this morning, I will know the light at the end of the tunnel is just the oncoming train that will destroy the rest of what I have left.

Those feelings run deep in me - and for that reason I'll vote, I'll early vote actually, and I'll urge everyone I know to please go and vote. It won't just be for me, it'll be for my children, my brothers and sisters, my elderly mother in law in Kentucky who shouldn't have to struggle like she does after working her entire life, my other relatives that are elderly and have seen their investments shrink to nothing because of greed and lack of accountability.

You - YOU - have the chance to be "THE DECIDER" now. You must decide and follow thru on bringing the change we so desperately need. You do not have to be afraid and you should not let social issues like abortion or gay marriage be the deciding factor on HOW you live in next four years. There is a big difference between 'living' and 'surviving' and unless we see a major change in Washington D.C. come January - there'll be very little of either taking place.

Can you feel it?

On To The Next Project

2008-10-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

I had this grand idea that after the class reunion was over, I'd be sitting down, kicked back, and relaxing for a month or two, at least! NOT!

I've decided now that I gravitate toward activities and there's just nothing to be done about it. I meant to take the entire month of October to rest - but check out these activities:

Tuesday I have an all important doctor's appointment - which may change the rest of the month regardless of my intentions. I do hope to get some relief from the arthritis pain that I'm enduring, as my mom would say, I am hollering calf rope!

October 14 we'll have the final reunion meeting - just to catch up and close any loose ends. And we've still got the yearbook to finish, print and mail, but some of that will be in November. The 18th is Old Timer's Day, an activity at one of the community organizations I've been involved with many years, the 23rd is a Town Hall Meeting that I don't really have to be at, but my part-time employer is hosting so I am somewhat involved. The 25th is not only the fall festival in Flatrock, but the Colt Classic at the high school. And, I need to go to a couple of football games - the 17th is Homecoming and the 30th is Senior Presentation. My sister in law is having a Halloween Party on the 31st and my nephews birthday party is Saturday, November 1st.

So, add in all the running for the kids and trying to keep the house going, and I am tired already. I will prevail though, a strong work ethic and a good attitude, along with the fact that I loathe failure, well, I'll hang in and keep pushing. It may be that sitting down is not ever going to be in my cards!

The Veep Debate

2008-10-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

OK - so I watched the debate last night. I was actually somewhat surprised that it was not the bloodbath I'd expected. I suppose someone told Joe Biden to take it easy on the kid - like when you're the team with all the big blockers and a group of small amateurs take the field opposing you, well, you just don't hit them normal, now do ya?

This thought kept running thru my mind - and you know how I just love to relate things to old movies or television! Do any of you remember on The Andy Griffith Show when Howard Sprague ran against Aunt Bea for city council? They had a debate - Howard had his facts and figures and years of experience and knowledge and Aunt Bea, well, bless her heart, she had her heart. And, that was about all.

Last night's debate was pretty much like the one filmed 44 years ago for a sitcom. The only thing, at the end of the debate Aunt Bea conceded to Howard before one vote had been cast.

The only other impression I had was that she was somewhat like a first grader trying to debate a senior in high school. Imagine how hysterically I laughed when Jay Leno had a picture of the first meeting of Biden/Palin and it was a picture of Joe Biden in a kindergarten class with a little girl and her crayons!

I imagine my neighbor wondered what I was cackling so loud about!

Party of the Century

2008-09-30T18:02:00.000-07:00

Yes it was! It really was a great time!

First, let me say that after all the planning and meeting, I was really very nervous. But as Saturday morning dawned, things started looking pretty good and I was really calm.

Picked Renee up at Lipscomb at 11:00 am and we headed downtown. This was after staying up until about 12:15 in the morning finishing up some posters with pictures from the yearbook and Renee and Chris loading up the van. That might have been a little bit of a problem because I moved Lynn home that morning, but hey, he made it!

We got to the venue and called the others to come down and unload the van. Then Renee and I headed over to get the balloons all helium'd up! When we got back, she went on upstairs with the balloons and then I went up to preview.

It was my first time to see the venue, which was phenominal to start with, then add to that the decorations, flowers, etc. Well, tears came to my eyes! It looked better than I could have imagined, the girls setting up had done a wonderful job and everything was perfect! We had some beautiful floral arrangements and lots of Glencliff red and blue everywhere! There was a special memento - a bookmark - that commemorated the event for each guest.

Home we went to rest - I laid down about 1:00 PM which meant I had about 3 hours to rest up. I even got a little sleep.

Up at 4:00 pm, into the shower, then dressed, etc. Jimbo met us here to follow us - we had to make one last stop to pick up the specially decorated cake - and head downtown.

We had live music, CD's between sets, lots of door prizes, lots of fun, and plenty of booze!

Folks starting coming in about 6:30 actually - I took a seat over from the registration table because it was close and looked comfortable, and that ended up working perfectly. I got to meet and greet almost every single person as they left the registration area!

It was so great to see friends I hadn't seen for so long- one person from the class of 1977, Sherry, I had not seen in 30 years. Seeing her brought tears to my eyes, again. I had thought about her so many times thru the years. A good friend since Jr. High, Tammy, made it in from Alabama and another great friend from high school, Margie was there too - I really enjoyed catching up with them!

I think everyone had a great time! I know some guys from the class of '79 want to do the same thing again next year - to which I responded - "I will give them my notes!" It was a blast, but I think I just want to be a guest next time.

I am so very glad to have had this opportunity to help plan and pull this thing off. Couldn't have done it without the rest of the planning crew, my friend the florist, my sister Amy and her husband Ben for scanning and printing pictures and for coming to take pictures that night, and of course Jimbo and Renee for being the legs SO many times!

Thanks guys FOR EVERYTHING, I love you all!

Two More Days!

2008-09-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

Til the party of the century! Boy, don't I wish - but we are two days out and things are looking good. I'm excited to get there and see old friends and spend the time talking and catching up - I'm hopeful that everyone who has RSVP'd makes it and other friends drop by - we set it up as a cash at the door thing - so we could have more people than I imagine. Right now we at about 260-70 folks - that's quite a large group.

I will definitely post something about the party on Sunday - stay tuned!

I Cried for my Country Today

2008-09-20T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, actually yesterday, but that's not the point here.

I've been watching Good Morning America's Whistle Stop Train Tour all week. It has been great - they left New York and ended up in Washington DC. Between those two cities, they traveled the rails thru all sorts of little towns, stopping and getting off to meet the people. And, those people welcomed them with open arms, hearts and mouths.

A lot of the show this week was frank discussions over where folks stood and how their life was - where they were succeeding and where they were not having any luck.

I have no idea if GMA has a political affiliation or what any of the host's opinions are so I don't think the show is biased.

By yesterday I had an emotional breakdown where I literally wept for my country, my homeland, and how things are right now. The showed that folks on that were struggling with bills, loss of jobs and industry, increased food and energy costs, all the things that most of us are struggling with too.

One man was 94 years old and said for the first time since the Great Depression, he could not pay his taxes and eat. He didn't know what to do. There was the father who lost his job in the steel industry and does any kind odd job, etc. to make money to keep his family afloat. Moms with kids and doctor bills they couldn't pay because they had no insurance. And it wasn't all bad. There was the young boy who loved trains and arranged a train trip for his school, only to realize the train was not handicapped accessible and his own tears at having to leave some classmates behind.

Real people, good people, doing the best they can every day, and seeing that our government is failing them on every front. That's when I couldn't take it anymore and cried.

Not just cried, but moaned with agony that so many people are hurting in so many ways, and that while my life somedays seems so very tough, I am so blessed and have so very much.

And, out of that despair, I rose up with a new determination. One to be sure that everyone I know is registered to vote and does VOTE on November 4th. I have to do everything in my power to help things in this country, and that means that I have to do everything I possibly can to see a new administration in D.C. come January - and I mean 'new' in the party sense - not just another cloned copy of an idiot that needs his head pulled out of his ass!

I've Got Edward-itis

2008-09-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

I'd seen Stephenie Meyer on Good Morning America talking about her series of books starting with "Twitlight" recently. The series centers around girl named Isabella and a vampire named Edward. Initially, I have to admit that I thought to myself "hmm, this has been done - does anyone remember Buffy??" And, at that point I dismissed it as something I might consider reading, but probably not.

Then, enter Amy. Amy is not only my sister and great friend, but she's the one that turned me onto Buffy in the first place. (The Sunnydale in my title is just a small indication of how much the Buffyverse impacted the lives of the Martin 3)

Amy read Twilight - in less than two days I believe - then stopped and bought the 2nd book on her way home from work. That one is "New Moon". Before that week was over, Amy had read all 4 books, totalling about 2300 pages, the online version of "Midnight Sun", had started reading them again AND purchased for me my own copy of "Twilight".

I'm giggling the whole time because of the way Amy is reading - I would rather read than eat - something she discovered this week! She had read the Harry Potter's (my retribution to her for Buffy!), but not like this.

So I get started - a little skeptical at first I have to admit. By the end of the third chapter I was hooked! By the end of the 4th chapter I called Amy saying "OMG, OMG" which was all I could say at the moment except maybe that my next husband was going to be a vampire!!

So, I've got it - a severe case of Edward-itis - and I don't want no remedy! I'm well into the 2nd book in the series and I understand that when you finish the 4th one, you can only start over, a phenomenon called "revamping"!.

Amy has found all kinds of cute things - my favorties being a t-shirt that says "Edward Widower" or something like that since the wife is GONE over Edward, and a website called "twilightmoms" for those of us who are not teenagers but are desperatly in love with Edward.

Let me say this, if you've ever read a Nicholas Sparks book and marveled at how romantic he is - forget about it! He is not even in the t-ball ballpark compared to the major league of Edward!

AND, the movie starts November 21! Stay tuned for more updates!

One Thing

2008-09-10T19:32:00.001-07:00

If there was one thing you could change in your life - JUST ONE - do you know what it would be?

Now, really think about that for a minute or two. Because that one thing may change every other thing in your life and those changes may not be good. Like it or not, the path we've taken is just that, and the alternatives may have been worse.

That being said, there is one thing in my life I wish I could go back and change. And no, it's not the idiot I married, believe it or not. It was a few years after him, and NO I didn't cheat.

I know the path my life has taken since then is different, and I can tell myself things could have been worse, but somehow I don't think so. I made a very stupid decision one day that costs me a bundle, mostly in the beat myself up category, but a bundle. I didn't commit murder or physically harm anyone or anything - stop trying to guess!

I've seen some hard days, some trying days, and days I didn't know where to turn next, but if they ever make a time machine that will let you go back, I think I might. Then again, the people and places in my life since then, well I can't imagine for one minute not having them. The friends I have now I would have never known, and I'd be a much poorer person without them.

And, even when we make bad decisions, things usually work out like they should - didn't I just rant about that yesterday?

Safety Issue

2008-09-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

My last post got a little radical and I did something I didn't give any thought to - I mentioned the university that my daughter attends.

Imagine my surprise when I got an email from one of their staff! They actually have a filter that alerts him when the university name is used online in blogs, emails, etc.

The email was nice and more in a 'so you know' vein. But it got me to thinking, after all of the episodes of violence on college campuses, I am glad they have this capability in place. I'm sure that the 'radical' Lisa considers this an invasion of privacy and against the civil rights of Americans, but I have to tell you that 'mom' Lisa is just fine with it being in place!

When Renee started high school, I could not let her go without having a cell phone. So she got her first phone about two weeks before she started her freshman year. I thought I worried during high school, but as she went on the college, the fear became worse. Lynn got his phone about half way thru the 8th grade. How my parents managed to raise 4 of us without cell phones is beyond me!

I believe we have a purpose in life, and I believe everything happens for a reason. While I know that if God gave her to me 19 1/2 years ago to take her back at the hands of an assassin on the college grounds, it is something I'd have to accept. But I pray daily that is not His will for her life and that she remains safe.

And I never cease to be amazed that the worry you feel when they are babies is nothing compared to what you face when they are young adults!

My Rant on Sarah Palin

2008-09-06T08:38:00.000-07:00

For a week now I've watched, listened, thought and tried my best to figure out what in the world John McCain was thinking! AND I'm saying him because it's obvious she is not thinking at all!

I understand she's been PTA president - that really prepares you to step up in a crisis time and do what - bake cookies or hold a carnival! Mayor of a town with somewhere between 6 and 9 thousand folks - I've heard the spread so I figure the town has grown some since she was first elected - hmm - don't see much in the way of an emergency there that could evoke great strength or knowledge. (unless Aunt Bea and Clara are arguing over whose hybrid rose is going to win the annual contest) And, finally governor of a state that, while having the largest land mass of all the states, has less people in the entire state than the city I live in. Tell me again what makes her qualified to potentially be president because I've missed it in this resume.

And I haven't even touched the family issues, which make ME sound like the conservative here. I'm all about voting for a woman, would rather vote for a woman anyday than a man and make that my mission, in most cases. This woman has a 5 month old special needs child! Not only that, but she is about to become a grandmother to an infant whose mother is a senior in high school and unmarried. (as a person who has been forced to deal with DCS for over a year now, can I tell you both instances amount to child neglect under Tennessee standards!)

Flip the switches on this - tell me what the Republicans would be saying if Chelsea Clinton was pregnant and unmarried. That exact philosophy or double standard is the very reason I have to vote Democratic - I can not stand the hypocrisy and 'holier than thou' attitude, demeanor and rhetoric I witness every time I'm forced to listen to someone who calls themself a Republican or conservative.

And to prove my point on this - my daughter is a sophomore at David Lipscomb University. That campus is all pro-Palin, ALTHOUGH, if you are considered immoral by openly admitting you've had premarital sex, or you are pregnant, married or not, you are not allowed to attend classes. And their excuse for Palin is "well, you can never tell about teenagers and what they'll do". They will support the mother to be a heartbeat away from being President of the United States because of some ill-conceived notion that she stands are all things biblical, while they would never allow her daughter to be accepted to their university.

Explain it to me like I'm a 5 year old!

The Wedding

2008-09-06T08:20:00.000-07:00

I can't remember how much, if anything, I'd said about the wedding.

Yesterday was my brother Larry and his wife Mitzi's 20th wedding anniversary. That's a pretty major accomplishment, especially in today's world.

For a good while, Mitzi has been planning a wedding. More than just a vow renewal, it was a full blown wedding with the long white dress and bridesmaids, etc. So that was last night.

My daughter, Renee, as well as their daughter, Meaghan, were bridesmaids. All the girls looked so pretty - they wore dresses colored "apple" - the deep dark red like a delicious apple. Larry's guys were all in black - with red ties - made for a very pretty scene.

After the ceremony, there was a party at the American Legion - which was a lot of fun and I ended up staying until 10:00 pm - which is a VERY LATE night for me. I'm almost always sitting up in my bed by 8:00 PM at the latest, earlier if something I watch regularly is on t.v.

I'm sure this morning they are very glad it is in the past - these things seem to take over all of your time, energy and money - and make for great memories - you're just always glad that they're over when they are. For their sakes, I wish more people had shown up - I know they invited about 300 folks and there was probably 50-60 there - not bad for a very rainy Friday night - I just worry their feelings were hurt.

There were some cutie pie kids - the flower girl, the ring bearer, and the attendant for the train were all just precious! Not to mention Austin looking so handsome in a white dress shirt and kackies.

I've been up awhile now, I sure do wish I'd brought home wedding cake to have with my coffee!

Another Week Has Rolled Over Me!

2008-09-06T08:14:00.001-07:00

It seems that Saturday is getting to be the only day of the week I have time to blog - must correct that ASAP.

This week rolled over me like a steamroller! I can't remember Monday at all, Tuesday I worked, Wednesday I went to work but was very upset because Lynn was supposed to be having his wisdom teeth cut out and I didn't know where or the details. A blessing happened in that the driver who was supposed to pick him up, etc. was out sick. So, I've made his appointment for next week and I will provide the transportation, so I can be there. And, he is going to an oral surgeon so I feel better. I thought they had him going to just the dental clinic over on Murfreesboro Rd and I figured they were about to butcher him.

Thursday Lynn had a counseling session and a doctor's appointment to follow up on his illness recently - so I was in the van from 8:30 AM until about 3:00 PM that day. Talk about exhausted!

AND, Renee still had class and work everyday and I still had to complete alterations on her dress for the wedding which was Friday night. I did something everyday on the class reunion and thought a lot about the history project which I'd love to just dump at this point.

All in all, to be sitting at the computer at 10:00 Saturday morning is pretty much amazing from my point of view. I can't play too long - too much stuff to do - but I have to catch up on some serious blogging - watch for multiple posts today!

Rolling Along

2008-08-30T07:56:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been a busy week!

I've continue to be busy with the class reunion - more on that later.

Monday night I attended the South Nashville Family Resource Center monthly meeting - I'm on that advisory board, but I had not been to any meetings for a year. After I got there, I remembered why. I like the director and think she's doing a fine job and the person she reports to who works for the lead agency, Vanderbilt, I adore. BUT, there is one member of this board I cannot stand to be around. I suppose I should just leave it at that, and remember that most people are doing the best they can anyway. But, one day, when I'm in a really bad mood, all bets are off!

Tuesday I worked getting things prepared for a training session on some cool software for the oral history project I've been working on - more on that later!

Tuesday night I had a class reunion meeting, etc. Anyway, by the end of the week, I'd been out of the house for two complete days and three evening outings. I am exhausted!

We had a great time Thursday night. Lynn and I went to Amy and Ben's to watch the Democratic Convention. Renee and her boyfriend came later. We had pizza and enjoyed the time together and the convention speeches. I'd been watching at home all week, but it was nice to watch with family and to chat during the in between times about what was going on - I enjoyed the coverage on television, but I liked having both my kids and Amy and Ben all together for some quality family time. That was the best part of the whole week!

Empty Nest Syndrome

2008-08-23T12:06:00.000-07:00

I've heard of this and read about it, especially folks doing crazy things when their kids leave home, like have another one or adopt a few or lose their minds!!

I am very much looking forward to an empty nest. I actually had a nice sample last fall with Renee living on campus and Lynn in Memphis, the last couple of days, he's been at his foster mom's and Renee has been house sitting. So, it's just been me and the cat!

Been pretty quiet - I guess I've listened to a 1000 songs, watched a little t.v. and slept quite a bit. Not sleeping because of anything but sheer exhaustion, I've taken a few days off from work and then realized just how dog tired I really am.

Anyway, back to my subject, I'm looking forward to the kids being on their own. And, I want a smaller space, just enough for me, the cat is going with Renee, that I can have my books, a t.v. and the computer, that's all. I don't want to keep a bigger place than I can comfortably take care of and use all of. Right now, I never go past the computer in the living room, so there are three rooms in this house I rarely even enter.

That makes me wonder too about some of my friends and neighbors who've kept the big house even though all of the kids are long gone. I think that must be a burden though, I can barely motorvate enough to keep me afloat, I sure don't want to have to dust and vacuum rooms no one ever uses!

I think part of it too is that to truly downsize, you have to get rid of a lot of stuff. But it's just stuff!! But, it becomes important to physically maintain the memories and the appearance of being important to the memory.

My point is, I don't have to have the piano to remember taking Amy to her lessons, or Renee playing on it when she was a year old, or Meaghan's reindition of "Jesus Loves Me, Yes He Does". I don't have to have every piece of paper my children ever brought home from school to remember their school days (and yes, at one point, I had EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF PAPER!!)

Well, I'm hopeful to become an empty nester in the next 12-24 months - maybe - downsize to a one bedroom apartment and sit in the sun as often as weather permits.

Motivation

2008-08-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

You know motivation is a very personal thing. It's between you and yourself only.

This came to me this morning from out of nowhere, and made me realize that although I am 48 years old, I still don't know everything and never will. But, I am motivated to keep going to try to learn as much as I can, do as much as I can, and never quit.

But, while I feel that way today, I tried to remember if there was ever a time I wasn't motivated. I'm sure there were times as a young adult, my lack of motivation for the positive things in life must have driven my mom crazy.

I was thinking about my son Lynn, he's not feeling well and his heart is broken from a recent break up. Lynn is a good person with a good heart, I know he is, but he's not motivated to use his energy in a positive way. One of his teachers said to me when he was a freshman in high school that he (the teacher) had not found what would motivate Lynn to use his talents and energy in a positive manner. At this point, I have not either.

And thinking about that very thing made me realize that he has all the tools he needs to do good, do right, and have a good life. He's been raised with a good foundation, although he's fighting it tooth and nail right now. He had two parents that both had amazingly strong work ethics. And there are hundreds of prayers said for this child on a daily basis.

When Lynn realizes all he needs is for himself to get up and get going, that it's all on and in him, he'll be fine!

Crushes

2008-08-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the first really bad crush you had? Lord, I do. It was so bad that it still can make me a little dizzy today.

I remember seeing him for the very first time. I was in the 10th grade and it was my first day at Glencliff High School. We were going to be at Wright Jr. High down the street because the high school was under construction. We all had to go to the gym to be sorted, like cattle!

As I reached the end of the hall that fed into the gym, I turned slightly left to go into the gym and saw this boy at the end of the hall near the door going outside. He was hanging with his 'homies'. They were laughing and cutting up and were about the last ones to enter the gym. I never took my eyes off of him! I was gone from that moment on!

He was a senior and I was only a sophomore and I doubt seriously that he ever knew who I was. I admired him from afar the entire school year, my best friend knew and teased me about him, but I didn't allow her to mention one thing about who he was. I can't describe him or call his name, some of you regular readers know him!

It was so bad that I blushed everytime I saw him, got flustered and couldn't speak, thought about him constantly, and dreamed about him often.

The funniest part of this now is that he is coming to the class reunion. Oh, I've been over it for years and years, I'm pretty sure he's married, probably fat and bald, hell, I'm fat and gray headed, but it's been a good laugh to remember that crush and how bad it was. I can only imagine if I'd ever felt that way about the man I ended up marrying!

Myspace Update

2008-08-16T14:21:00.000-07:00

So today I've updated my myspace to include a picture of Obama and my about me section to be a rant about Obama and Republicans. I told Renee it was 4:16 on Saturday afternoon, and gave her two names that will bust me big time within 24 hours. Stay tuned for the update.

Reunion Blues

2008-08-14T13:37:00.001-07:00

So today I've got the reunion blues! I'm still looking forward to it, but with a little less gusto than I've had. I'm sure that will improve again, we've just had a little problem with the venue and as of right now, we are homeless!

I have all the confidence in the folks working on that piece - and I'm sure we'll have a spot somewhere in this city! I think I'm just gonna take a reunion break for a week or so and let my mind rejuvenate itself!

That being said, school started this week in Nashville. My alma mater, and Renee's, is in dire need of parents to help the band. Same song, different year! This year I just can't commit to much, but I'll do what I can.

Renee and I sat down today with her class and work schedule so I could figure out the exact hours I'll be working for awhile, at least until we get her a car. Hopefully that will be soon.

It's be a lot sooner if that idiot in East Nashville would just pay. Folks tell me it'll get better between us oneday, especially if we are ever grandparents, but I don't see it. I started a new blog - one where I intended to vent all of my frustration, tell everything, sorta like the ultimate therapy trip - BUT - I cannot remember the name of it, my logon (since it was different) or anything. Total blank I draw - go figure that one!

Well, enough blogging for today - think I'll hit the deck for a little vitamin D thru the skin!

I Hate Bitchy Men!

2008-08-13T15:45:00.000-07:00

Can I say it loud enough? There's nothing worse that a bitch man!

My husband was a bitch! Oh yeah, don't let him hear anything that remotely resembled gossip, or that you knew something about someone, not only did he tell it, usually to the person it was about, he'd tell you told it, etc. I learned not to say anything in front of him - not even about the time of day!

Now, I'm facing this with my son! Oh yes, the bitch of all times. I'm somewhat involved in neighborhood things and there've been incidences with 2 houses lately in which some of his so-called friends live. I'm not sure these people are friends - they like Lynn when he has cash or they all need a ride - but otherwise, I'm afraid he'd just be stranded if he was the needy party.

But, since he's heard me discussing some of these situations, he's been on the phone to his little punk friends telling them what I've said and calling me a 'snitch'. Now, some of the activity has been illegal. Don't know who they think they're fooling - the whole world knows - but I've gotten to wondering if I'm about to be on a hit list because my bitch son can't keep his mouth shut.

What this means is that I never discuss anything neighborhood again if he's in hearing distance, act like I don't know anything about what's going on, and duck if I hear little pops (a damn daily experience in this 'hood)

Oh, he knows exactly how I feel about what he's done too - rest assured, I am better at being nice and act like I've had some raising on this blog, much more than I am in person, at least dealing with Lynn!

Anyway, if I could raise my leg more than 4 inches, I'd go to East Nashville and kick someone in the shins!

RIP Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes

2008-08-11T17:32:00.000-07:00

The entertainment world lost two great icons this weekend, and both men were really way too young.

Bernie Mac - hilarious man! From the Kings of Comedy tour, the movies, especially Ocean's Eleven, and the t.v. show, I stopped clicking the remote if I ran into Bernie anywhere. The show with the kids, well, it got me thru a lot of bad days and made me laugh when I felt like crying dealing with my own kids. His time was way too short and his contributions cut way short.

Shaft - what else can I say? I remember the song so vividly back in the day - I was only 11, but everyone knew about the movie and the soundtrack. There was nothing smother than Isaac Hayes. Then you became "Chef" and showed us all your hysterical side!

My own children have enjoyed both of these men - it is indeed a dark day in our household. We will never forget either of you!

Reunion Updates

2008-08-10T16:33:00.001-07:00

OK - so I told you you'd get tired of hearing about it.

We had a very successful meeting yesterday - even got a piece of chocolate pie too - which is heavenly!

It's about 7 weeks away and things seem to be coming along nicely. I believe the venue is square now - some changes there that had me a little nervous - but ok now. RSVP's are starting to come in a little more regular, and daily, so it's fun seeing who is planning on coming!

We're going to have blue and red flowers - Glencliff's colors are red and light blue - similar to what the old Houston Oilers had - well exactly actually! Still one of my favorite color combos of all times!

I'm really tired today though, so I'm going to close now and blog again when my brain has more strength!

Brad Paisley - Champion of World Peace

2008-08-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

Does that title sound weird? If you've ever listened to one of Brad's songs, the words and the spirit in which he sings them lend to keeping the peace, especially in couples, in so many ways.

To start with, he just plain out makes fun of the way men are, but in a kind way, one that would make the hardest hearted of women stop and say, "Hey, he's got a point!".

His songs have made me cry, and made me laugh hysterically. I mean, the one where he's gonna miss her, but wait, he's got a bite. What woman couldn't love a man desperately if he sang "She's Everything" about her? I laughed my ass off at "I'm Still a Guy" and for a brief moment, think my heart softened just a little bit in regard to my ex-husband and some of his behavior.

But, the best song ever, ever, EVER is "Waiting on a Woman". The song pairs up an old man, talking to a young man, and how waiting on a woman would never be 'wasted time'. Hmm, one of Brad's album titles!

In my married life, I was always the one ready first, with the kids ready, and I waited. So, no comparison for me. But, my dad waited on my mother as long as I can remember to be ready. He'd be ready, pace for 1/2 hour, then go out to wash the car because he had to spend up some energy and she'd already yelled at him three times about the pacing!

The best part though is the chorus about men dying first, because their woman is not ready, and waiting on her inside heaven. My dad went almost 8 years before my mom - when I listen to the last verse of the song, I could picture him pacing around, licking his thumb and rubbing it against his forefinger, just one of his habits. But, I'm sure when she got there he grinned that little special grin as he said "you finally ready?"

AND, if there were cars in heaven, they were all washed up real clean!

Community Work

2008-08-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

This week, National Night Out Against Crime is Tuesday, August 8.

There will be a big party at the neighborhood high school - we're going to have hot dogs, popcorn, cotton candy, juice, water, a misting tent! big fans with water! a big circus tent! a big bingo game and activities for the kids like a moon bounce and some games.

Now I call all blow up with a generator bouncy things a moon bounce - no matter what they really are - space shuttle, king kong (yes, you should see it) or the duck - they are all moon bounce.

I would normally be really looking forward to this afternoon, I get to work at the registration table for the neighborhood association, which means I get to talk to everyone that comes by. Talking is my passion, if I'd ever had a job that paid me be the word, well, this blog wouldn't be here, or if it was, it'd be coming at you live from the beach on some remote Caribbean island I'd bought. One not too far out so I could have a bridge to themainland - well, that's a few blogs and a lot of psycho-therapy from ever being fixed.

Anyway, I think it'll be a great day - lots of activities, lots of community groups coming to have booths, police and fire, government departments with information, etc.

BUT, it's supposed to be 98 damn degrees Tuesday afternoon at 3:00!!!

For me that means stifling air that doesn't go much past my adam's apple, and certainly doesn't come close to inflating my lungs, even with all the albuterol I'll suck down. And, since I don't normally have enough sense to take care of myself on days like this, and I have this horrible habit of not saying NO, my sister Amy and my daughter Renee have forbade me to be there! Probably a good thing, I don't remember seeing an ambulance on the list of guests!

Can You Believe This?

2008-07-30T16:54:00.000-07:00

OK - after all of the time I've sworn I would not give the man a nickel's break on what he owed me, I decided to sit down and recalculate child support.

I went back to the time I'd left him, calculcated the original amount I'd ask for of $100.00 per week - more than reasonable, but he said $400.00 per month was a lot of money!!!. I even reduced it to $50.00 per week after Renee graduated from high school. Added up to November 11 this year when Lynn turns 18, added the costs of their insurance premiums which I was granted by the court, and reduced it by not only what he has paid thru the courts but what he paid me before I got the court order. That whopping amount was $300.00 in 18 months!!

I didn't charge him the extra $20.00 per week I got in court because he declined any visitation with the kids. I didn't add up all the copays and deductibles I'd paid thru the years either.

Anyway, after all of that, the amount was $19,500 - about 10 grand less than what the state says he owes. But, I'll take it IF it means I never am forced to deal with him ever again.

BUT, guess what? Yep - he says that's too much and he's choosing just to forget it and not pay anything. And do you know how much that frickin idiot asshole paid this week - a whole $5.00 - yes FIVE DOLLARS!

If I'm ever forced to have to speak to him, he's always handy to tell me he's looking forward to the day that Jesus says to him something like 'well done good and faithful servant, enter into the gates of heaven.' Gives me the chance to remind him that first St. Peter's going to ask if he paid all of his child support! Shuts him up real quick!

I really believe there is a special place in hell for men like him!

Reminiscing

2008-07-27T12:10:00.001-07:00

I've mentioned the class reunion coming up. As that time nears, I'm starting to feel a little stressed, but that's my personality on wanting everything to be picture perfect. I'm working on letting that go.

I did get my yearbooks out last weekend - an old friend from school who has remained a family friend for 30 years came over and we were discussing the reunion, etc. It was great fun to look at the yearbooks, and I've done so over and over, because everytime I look at them I'm remembering something I'd either totally forgotten or realizing something I'd never noticed, can't decide which on that. But it has been fun remembering people and updating on what we know about who.

One of the inevitables is that a lot of our folks have shuffled off this mortal coil in the last 30 years. In fact, just last week, two persons I remember well passed. One of them no word on what happened, not even a funeral service. On the other, we heard it was a heart attack. Kinda scary, but given our age, very probable, and especially given that heart disease is the leading cause of death among women, mostly because we think we're not the ones.

One thing I have rather enjoyed is this - looking at the pictures of us in those great 70's clothes and hair styles, earth shoes, wide belts and ties - well - in our faces you could see the future. I can still remember how it felt to be 17 or 18 and have the whole world laid out in front of me and feel like nothing was impossible. That feeling is why we go back, why we have reunions, and why we try to remember everyone and everything from those days - it's to recapture the way we were before the world's reality set in. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not on a downer at all, I'm just saying there is a time of innocence that we find ourselves longing for, if only for a moment, now and then.

And, while everything may not be picture perfect that night in my mind's eye, if each of us can catch up with an old friend, laugh, remember those days with a warm heart and sincere smile, then we'll have had great success. I just can't wait!!

Child Support Hell

2008-07-26T08:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sure any of you who've had to deal with child support could not have had a bigger idiot or asshole to deal with as I have - at least, I hope for your sakes you didn't.

The entire time I was married to him, he swore that he'd kill me dead before he'd pay me a dime. I've never decided for sure if that was one reason I stayed 10 years too long - could have been - but that's probably a book in itself.

Anyway, for the first year or so we were separated, I didn't do anything legal. Then, after my mom died I proceeded with divorce proceedings. Some of that was to keep him from calling her, etc., part was probably to spare her any added misery, and part was to spare me from both of them.

So, we go to court in November 2003 at which time I am awarded over $800.00 per month child support. He was driving a truck, making good money, and declined visitation with the kids (which gave me an extra $20.00 per week). He promptly left the courtroom, drove to his employer and quit his job!

To cut to the chase, I've collected about $6K the last two years from him - because the child support office has garnisheed everything they can. And, the monthly amount was reduced a couple of times because our daughter aged out and because he claims not to have any income at all now.

So, I am three months from my youngest child being 18 years old at which point the child support will stop accumulating. And, currently, he owes me over $29,000.00!!!!

And, it appears that he may actually be able to pay me off - not that he wants to or that he's not trying every way possible not to - in the fairly near future. He wants to settle for a lesser amount and call everything else even. In my mind, I might could agree to something, but my dollar amount and his will never mesh. One of my friends asked me why I'd even consider settling for a lesser amount - I have no answer for that. Except, that my mom said it best, I was stupid when I was with him. And, he's not cute, charming, or nice. Even Dr. Phil couldn't help that one!

AND, the kicker is - he wants to be able to dictate how the money is spent!! After 6 years of being alone all the time with the kids, him never taking them even for a day, 6 years of me being the one to do without so that they could have everything they needed and all they wanted I could afford to give them, 6 years of me working long hours, and multiple jobs, even after I went on 100% disability, 6 years of his judgmental degradation about any mistake Lynn makes but no accolades for either of them's accomplishments and successes. His comment to Renee was to make sure "your momma splits this money between you and Lynn"!

Is this man for real? Can you imagine how stupid I think he is - I won't be angry because I won't give him that control, but, the fact that after all these years he thinks I'm still stupid about him, in fact, he's banking on it, does chap my ass a bit! Then Amy says for me to be careful, if they make him pay me, he'll be over here trying to come back!! OMG - if anybody sees anything to make you suspect at all I've lost my mind, because that's what it would have to be, please please call the men in white coats and have me locked up!

Don't anybody get excited, or look for the postcard from the islands, I'll believe it when I see it!

So, It's my Blog!

2008-07-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

I got to thinking this week that I've not been blogging as much as I use to - and wondering why. Part of that I'm sure is that I am extremely busy right now - this week I worked 4 days at my part time job - something I don't like to do and takes way too much of a physical toll on me. Note to self - don't do that again!

And then I wondered if my tendency to skip blogging is that I've become aware that there are several folks reading my blog on a regular basis. That thrills me, but at the same time, I had a few days of cold feet during which I thought things like "be careful what you say" and "what if I hurt someone's feelings", etc. I suppose those moments of self-doubt creep over everybody, and I'm happy to report that mine are less frequent than they once were!

So, all of that said, I think I'm back.

4 Random Sentences

2008-07-21T12:16:00.001-07:00

I need to finish this post, I've really got to pee. Are the pie crusts thawed enough to prick yet? I hope Jimbo don't start coming to my house often. Wonder if Lynn is asleep?

One of the blogs I read, Shamelessly Sassy, you have to read it. She wrote just 4 random thoughts yesterday and challenged us all. Fun!

MowMow MooMoo

2008-07-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

We had a very pleasant surprise last night - some friends who used to live in Nashville and now live in Huntington (about 120 miles west of here) called and were in town. They came by to visit, Ranessa, Lathan, his friend Ian, and Zipporrah.

When I met Ranessa, my son and her sons had become friends. So, we have 4 teenagers between us, then a little over two years ago, Zipporrah arrived. We were pretty excited here, for one thing we had not had a baby in our family for a long time. And, things had been a little rough for Ranessa, so that both of them were doing fine was a blessing. And, Zippy, as we call her in my house, was born on Big Blake's birthday.

I hadn't seen her for close to a year, and how she has changed. She's up running around everywhere, and in typical 2 year old fashion, all on her tippy toes. Talking ninety miles an hour and spotted the cat the minute she walked in. I could hear her going "mow mow, mow mow" all over the place.

I've noticed little kids do not say 'me-ow' with two syllables. It's always 'mow' just one sysllable rhyming with 'how'. So, Zip is running around calling 'mow mow, mow mow' and the cat is trying not to be seen.

We tried to tell her his name is "Moo Moo". He is named that because he is marked up just like a big fat holstein, and really resembles one of the little "Mary's Moo Moo" cow figurines that are doing a number of tasks, etc.

So she said 'moo moo' once, then she said 'mooooooooo' 'cow'. Hysterical. Try telling a two year old that the CAT is named MOO when MOO to her means COW. Good laugh for everyone.

I did forget how much energy a 2 year old has!

Where Did the Week Go?

2008-07-17T07:30:00.000-07:00

It's already Thursday morning - I'm working at home today which means I should really get up and get busy - I've got a million things to do. But, I can't believe it is Thursday already.

Remember when we were kids and each day seemed to last a year or two? It felt that way, especially during the school year when we just lived for Christmas break or summer!! I guess those days go so slow because you really don't have to do anything, you're just rolling along, playing kickball, fighting with the neighbor kids, making up shortly, riding bikes, sneaking off to the Dairy King to get an ice cream cone when you're sure your mom won't come down the big hill and catch you!

Now those were the days. Today, I need to do laundry, (somewhat embarassing, I am out of drawers!), work on the class reunion, work on the history project and get something done, organize myself for the book club meeting next Monday, hem a bridesmaid dress for an upcoming wedding, clean my bathroom, get some cooking done (yesterday was CSA day), follow up on a couple of things for a friend I work for part-time, deal with Lynn by talking to his therapist, and what am I doing? Crusing the 'net, reading blogs, posting to this one, just generally avoiding the day's required work as long as possible.

All the time knowing, that when I get started the day will be over before I know it, I'll only have 20% done what I thought I wanted to do, and I'll be exhausted and hobble off to bed.

I guess I'd better get started, the cat is looking at me all evil because his waterer is empty.

Sunday, Sunday

2008-07-13T14:42:00.001-07:00

la la la da da da, Can't rest that day.....

Sunday always seem to be a busy day unless I specifically plan to sit in bed all day. Even then, unless both of my kids are out of town, I mean hundreds of miles away, it never works.

Got up early this morning, did the shower bit and headed to church a little earlier than usual. We have a church member whose mission is to get up early every morning and make his rounds to some grocery stores. He collects the food that's been pulled from the shelves and is about to go in the dumpster, most of which is still fine just not for the retail shelf. That food is supplementing not only our entire church family, but loads of friends and neighbors. This morning I loaded up my van to share with a few families I know, and brought home plenty for my own family. I did attend preaching too!

I mention this only to say the following - in the future we may all see that the acquirement of food to eat becomes more of full time job than the casual jump in the car, drive to Kroger task it has been for so many years. I don't want to go all 'Ruby Ridgish" here, but, I am trying to keep my eyes and options open. Readily available food may not always be our way of life. If I never realized or believe that before, I think about the multitude of folks who are benefiting from what's taking place at church and the folks who belong to the CSA's. Add to that the almost daily reminder that our food banks have diminished supplies and funds because of the demand - I know I'm right about looking for other options, etc.

Today I planned on doing some cooking up for the week - I still had produce to take care of before it was lost to spoilage. So that is in progress, and I get some more much appreciated help - my sister Amy and her husband Ben are starting a new eating plan tomorrow which required them to do some clearing of their own pantry - lucky for me and my kids!

So, sometime later today I will be glad to get up in my bed and rest. And be ever so thankful for the blessings of a good food supply my family has for the next week or two - it will give me a little room to be generous to those less blessed.

Today's challenge for you - give some thing, some money or some time away to someone less blessed than yourself!

More Reunion News!

2008-07-12T15:06:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that before September 27, my regular readers (and thank you all very very much) will get tired of hearing about the class reunion. Sorry, I'm pretty excited about it, but I promise not to get too way out of hand.

We met today at Rippy's in downtown Nashville. Three of the folks who came I had not seen in years so it was great to do some catching up, etc. Jane, our organizer, had brought the composite picture of our class (1978) so there was lots of "What ever happened to?" and "Do you ever see?", which was great fun.

We'll meet again in 4 weeks - next time we are meeting at The Diary King!! Now, if you're from Woodbine or anywhere remotely south in Davidson County, you know the "Dairy Dip". Jeff Jones, the owner, has an eat-in restaurant too which he has graciously offered to us whenever we want or need to meet. Thanks Jeff!

We did try the "Hog Sampler Platter" today while at Rippy's. Ribs, smoked sausage, brisket, chicken wings (hotter than blazes), cheese, onion rings, and pickles. I may have skipped something - but all very tasty. Rippy's will be catering the reunion with a Southern BBQ buffet so we will have excellent eats.

Biggest obstacle we face right now is getting the word out. We're not requiring reservations, but asking for RSVP's so we can get in the ballpark on food. Did I say this reunion is the entire decade of the 70's? It is, that's 10 years plus we are not excluding anybody from the late 60's or early 80's that was part of the high school experience with someone from the 70's. Potentially, we could have 1000 folks show up - I doubt that - but I would love to see 300-400 at least.

Well, that's it for the reunion right now. I have some work to do but I am shifting gears as of tomorrow and hitting the history project head on. I've set an August 30 deadline for myself and intend to keep it!

A Busy Week Indeed!

2008-07-11T15:27:00.001-07:00

I can't believe I haven't posted all week - I knew I had been busy, but I didn't realize just how much until today.

I don't remember everything I did either! I know I had a meeting about the history project that went quite well, but, I will be so glad to be done with it! Met with Lynn's DCS and Phoenix Home folks yesterday - more on that in a minute. I've worked about 18 hours this week and have a class reunion meeting tomorrow. Whew!

I've said it before, but I want to say it again, I hope you NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ever find youself having to deal with DCS. I've been dealing with them a year and still don't see rhyme or reason in what they do. And, it's all a game. Lynn has learned to play it quite well because he is always a player. As the roster changes from meeting to meeting, I've found it quite interesting to see who's playing who this time. I'm making notes, believe me when I say that when we are done with this, I'm going to write an expose' for the papers. I've seen every one of Lynn's therapist and case managers lie - if that gives you a clue - like I said it depends on who the audience is on who's lying this time.

I'm pretty excited about tomorrow - I'm a little worried about where we're meeting - and I need to check with them to be sure they can accomodate me with seating. We were supposed to meet on the roof of Rippy's in downtown Nashville, BUT, they have 20 steps and no elevator!! Besides, it'll be 95 degrees tomorrow so I'm thinking we just can't be up there. But, I'm excited because I believe some new folks are coming, and some I haven't seen for several years. Should be fun.

Right now, I'm looking for a poem or song lyrics that would do for the memorial table. Think about that and let me hear something from you. I've considered "One Sweet Day" by Mariah and "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney. BUT, we went to school in the 70's so it would be cool to use something from back then. I really hope somebody suggest something!

Obama Baby!

2008-07-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

Well - that's the way I've been hearing it for months!

Yes - I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am still a Hillary girl BUT most importantly, I am a Democrat and think that we must have a Democrat in the White House to 1 - get us out of the friggin mess we're in and 2 - lead us somewhere besides the poorhouse or prison camps.

If you can, please go to Obama.com and sign up to get email updates, etc. Make a donation if you can at all, and believe me, I totally understand when you can't because there's not enough money left to eat after you've bought gas to go to work and back.

I'm attached a link to an interview in Rolling Stone - good reading!
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/21472234

Family Tree Research

2008-07-06T06:12:00.000-07:00

My sister Amy signed up with ancestry.com and started to build our family tree. I did some work about 9 years ago for a few months - can't believe it's been that long! I can say this - the websites designed for this type work, etc. have come a long way.

I've passed on the stuff I had to Amy to add in - the coolest thing about ancestry.com now is that if you hit a common person to another person's public tree - you can link them, giving you the opportunity to share but expanding both trees.

Of course you can keep your tree private if you're not inclined to share. There are some folks who don't like to share if they've done the research themselves, but as for me, share on! What good is any knowledge I have if I keep it to myself?

They've also got book publishing capablility and poster options. You can actually upload pictures of your relatives into the software and create a poster with 4, 5 or 7 generations, including pictures. I sampled one of those today - I'm thinking it might be something cute for the kids for Christmas! Renee would definitely appreciate it now and I can hope Lynn would some day.

Random note: If you have speakers and can hear my playlist on the blog - the first song now is "Hey Mama" by Kanye West. Lynn introduced me to this song about 1 1/2 years ago and said he wanted to dedicate it to me. SO, even if he doesn't act like he knows anything - I know he does!!

Life according to George Carlin

2008-07-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

I good friend sent this to me today via email - I thought it was great, especially since my earlier post had been so negative. Read and enjoy!

George Carlin on age.
(Absolutely Brilliant)
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, craf ts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

I am a Disillusioned Woman

2008-07-04T08:25:00.001-07:00

Last weekend Lynn and I fought almost all weekend. He has plucked my last nerve, there's just no more I think, no more nerves to be plucked, no more skin to get under, no more hair to pull out. Somewhere in the course of the weekend, actually, when I was driving him back to his foster mother's - which took me ALL DAY Sunday to get him out of my house - he told me I was just a bitter old woman.

Rather stinging words from your son - but I admit I've not cut him any slack lately, about anything.

So during the week I mentioned it to one my friends, who promptly told me I am not a bitter old woman - I am just disillusioned and that is fine!

Been thinking about that - and it's really true. I have fought the bitter root , advice from a former church member about 16 years or so ago.

But I am disillusioned and here's why:

The marriage ended, so what, big deal! No person in my life, family or friend, wanted me to marry him and everyone saw what I didn't. He made me miserable everyday, but somewhere along the line my mom had told me "A bad dad is better than no dad" so I stayed until I just couldn't any longer, and she had long ago thrown in the towel on the idiot.

But, even though it finally ended, like a nightmare you think you'll never wake up from, I've come to realize it was never good. It wasn't like something happened, we didn't fall out of love, we didn't grow apart, it was never good. Wasn't it supposed to be good in the beginning and things just happen that lead you down the road to divorce?

But even that, I can deal with - like I said - who cares? - I'm so much better off and happier.

But then there are the kids! I've spent my whole life raising them, putting them first, and doing without anything I wanted and most stuff I needed to give them things they wanted and I wanted them to have.

Renee - she's appreciative most of the time. She's in school, she's working (2 jobs this summer) and trying to become a young adult who can stand on her own two feet. I worry about her health - she is diabetic - but mostly I worry about the young man she loves. He smothers her, and while that is cute and nice when you're dating, it's a disaster when you are married. He's a nice guy, but he doesn't have enough ambition to suit me and I discuss this with her. Not in the "You have to stop this", but "this may drive you crazy one day" and "you have to decide if you can live with this" kind of statements.

Then along comes Lynn - Lynn who is my payback for every single thing I ever did to upset my mother - down to just plain old stupid stuff like leaving cheese wrappers on the cabinet instead of putting them in the trash. Lynn - who insists he is a grown man, but is about 3 years old in reality. Lynn - who takes almost all of my energy on a daily basis and he's not even in my home full time right now. He's four months from being 18 and flat refuses to get a job. Says he doesn't want to go to school. His explanation to me on how he proposes to support himself is one that will lead to an orange jumpsuit with TDOC written on the back and Sunday visitations, to which I will refuse to go. Lynn who showed up at my house last night and said he'd been here until Sunday when I'd not planned on bringing him home because I needed a break from him. Lynn - who got his GED - thank God - but won't have a senior year, pictures, class ring, or graduation ceremony.

I wonder if I'd be happier if I'd been much more selfish raising them, if I'd made sure I had the things I wanted, if I'd allowed myself to have a social life that didn't revolve around supporting them in school, if I'd just said no to them. So, I am disillusioned. But, in another great saying from my mom, "This too shall pass".

Tales of an Idiot Chapter 557

2008-07-03T06:04:00.000-07:00

You know I'm talking about the biggest idiot I've ever know, the ex-husband!! I don't have 556 other chapters of documentation about his stupidity, but I could! In fact, that may be a project for the winter. Unfortunately, I've tried to forget as much as possible about him and I'd really like to not dredge back up some of the stuff. Rather embarassing to think of the time and energy I spent dealing with him.

So, for this weeks dose of "Can you believe this idiot?". Renee's boyfriend is having some issues with his car - he needs a water pump. His mom took it to a shop for an estimate which was over $600.00 because they said he needed a timing belt too. I explained to the kids that he didn't really need a timing belt, but since the front of the engine had to come off to do the water pump, it was just easier to replace it then and there instead of going back in - the car's age and mileage warrants doing it. OK - kudos to me for knowing something!

I did suggest Renee could call her dad and asked what he'd charge - he was once a fairly decent mechanic and I really just hoped he'd give Chris a break on the money. Long story short, Renee had to leave a message - and she eventually talked to him and he's supposed to do the work this weekend. When I picked her up from work, she said she'd talked to him and he could do it. He had also explained to her about the timing belt - same think I'd say. So I said to Renee, "please tell me when he said that you said - that's what my momma said", to which she said yes and we died laughing!

When we got home - we discovered the second hysterical part to this story - he called the house before he called Renee's cell phone and left the following message: "Lisa, this is Ron (accentuated because he knows I HATE him being called Ron), (then a long pause), Renee's daddy. Tell her I just got the message and to call me".

I started laughing uncontrollably and hit the replay key for Renee - who said "Like you don't know who the f**k he is".

This is one of those times it doesn't pay to get mad, you just have to laugh. I should feel sorry for the imbecile, but I don't.

Playlist Updates

2008-06-30T17:29:00.000-07:00

I am just really loving the playlist!! I don't have too many on my blog page - but my myspace is full at 100 - and I changed a bunch of them around. Every time I remember some old music from my youth - I can just go looking for it, find it and put it on the list.

Yesterday I must have been feeling a little melancholy - I added "Let's Just Kiss and Say Goodbye", "Have You Seen Her" and "I've Found Someone of My Own". These were all great songs that I remember from my childhood - I mean they're not even songs from my teenage years!! I also found "Love Grows Where my Rosemary Goes" and "Don't Call Us, We'll Call You" by a band named Sugarloaf!! Does anyone remember them?

You can't listen to "Have You Seen Her" without remember Sinbad's version of it on one of his specials - hilarious!! And the Five Man Electrical Band singing "Signs"! Tesla did a great job covering it a few years ago that I enjoy too.

Speaking of covers, have you heard Korn doing "Word Up"? Or Metallica doing "Turn the Page"? Both great jobs!

Funny thing is - you've got to know how old you're getting to be when you can tell your kids, who are singing their latest favorite song, who did that song in the 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's!! And they think their music is so cool and new! NOT!!

Looking Forward to Monday

2008-06-29T16:19:00.000-07:00

Does that sound crazy? I am looking so forward to tomorrow. A dear friend of mine I haven't seen in about 6 months is coming over in the morning. We're going to catch up on all of the news, and probably a little gossip too. She's been a great friend to me for several years and I'm looking forward to seeing her!

Have some plans tomorrow for after she leaves, I am about to begin listing on Ebay some of the things I've decided to part with - I've decluttered and decluttered and there is a ton of stuff that needs to find new homes. It's all very nice and in good shape, I just don't have the inclination for it any longer and don't plan to have room for it after next spring.

That's a story in itself, but if I can get these kids out into their own places, I am moving to something very efficient and much smaller where I can truly be retired, sit in the sun if I want to, read, play on the computer and just be lazy.

Anyway, I hope everyone has as good a day as I am looking forward to for Monday!

I'm Sick of This Shit!

2008-06-26T09:30:00.000-07:00

OK - I've gotten all the emails the last year or so with all of the things presumably wrong with Barack Obama. All the little 'excerpts' from his book - they're not officially excerpts if you rearrange the words, leaving or adding what you choose! I've seen all the little cut up videos - BUT - I have yet to find proof of one single thing proclaimed by those who claim they are trying to save this world from the anti-Christ!

And if you're easily offended, I'm about to piss you off! It never ceases to amaze me how otherwise reasonably intelligent people will just take someone's word for something so VERY important without checking out anything for themselves. How much of a dumb ass can you be?

There are folks out there saying everyday crazy stuff - like - hey - wasn't the world supposed to end last Thursday?? Or there's some upcoming date on which a cataclysmic catastrophe is supposed to take place that will wipe out most of the world's population and leave only a few stuck with the responsibility of starting it all over!!

Find out the facts - search for them - be able to prove what you're about to say - and know for sure who you are voting for and WHY!!!

While it was a fictional story, Tommy Lee Jones had a great line in the movie "Men in Black" - "A person is smart, people are stupid". It goes a little further than that, BUT, don't be a stupid person just following someone else's ill fated hysteria right to hell!

Cataclysmic catastrophe - elect John McCain and see!

And, as far as the stupidity about Obama's middle name - check out these FACTS:
In the registry of convicted felons in the State of Tennessee, there are 4 Husseins and 25 McCains. Someone's name DOES NOT say everything about that person!

You Have to Vote

2008-06-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

I've blogged some about politics, not a great deal, not as much as some of my old friends would have thought! Maybe because one of the blogs I used to read, well, his blog began to be full of all the ugly and disrepectful things I usually try to avoid, and, of course, they were all about Hillary.

All about Hillary because of two things - one, he's a big ass Republican and two, he's an even bigger ass chauvanistic pig. He's around 60 or so, but believe me when I say his attitude about women meets you about 10 feet before you see him. Not since my stupid ex-husband has a man infuriated me more - but - enough about him - he does not deserve these few words or any time in my universe.

I truly believe that major changes must take place for this country to proceed. Can you honestly say you are happy with the state of the economy? Do you have enough money? Are you not sick of pulling into a gas station? Can you buy whatever you want at the grocery store without counting as you go? Do you still have an active social life where dining out, movies, and other activites that are not free are part of your daily routine? When did you last go shopping just to shop - not for a necessity you'd had to plan for?

If you answered yes to these, are you giving back in any way? When's the last time you donated to the local food bank? Or made sure your elderly neighbor was getting enough to eat? Or that your other neighbor, the one with 3 kids, had enough food in her house? Or that her lights weren't cut off when you didn't see any lights on there last night, but you knew they were home? What about the family down the street where dad was hurt at work? Did you check to be sure they had gas in the car to go to the doctor or milk for the kid's cereal this morning?

Because you see, if you were able to answer yes to the first set, congratulations. The next paragraph are those who are struggling today. And, they're not struggling because they've been irresponsible or they haven't been cautious spenders or are wasteful consumers. No, they are the heart and the backbone of this country, and they are struggling because we've had an administration that has no clue about the real world. Excuse me, if you've never had to wait for anything in your life and you've never had to budget to cover your obligations, how can you propose to have any damn clue how to make decisions for the people as a whole?

There HAS to be CHANGE!! If you are not registered to vote, please do so today. If you need a form, call me - I have some and I will gladly mail you one or bring it to you, if you're in my neighborhood.

Voting is a right no American can take for granted, or fail to exercise. Hundreds of years have passed and hundreds of thousands of men and women have given their life to protect the way of living we have in America - don't take that lightly or disrepect it by not registering and voting.

If I see you, and I don't know, I will asked if you are registered to vote. And, I'll have forms with me if you're not! Even if you're going to vote Republican, I'll still give you a form. Oh, I'll try to teach you better too, but I'll give you a registration form.

And in the words of the late John Paul Jones , "I have just begun to fight!".

Too Many Projects, Too Little Time

2008-06-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Starting to feel a little rush here - I tend to do this to myself quite a bit. I think I must thrive on the anxiety!

Actually, I have this history project I've been working on for close to 2 years. Quite honestly, I've avoided it the last few months because I became disillusioned with the original mission and sponsor. But, with an August 31 deadline looming, I have no choice now but to get this thing done.

So today, I'm trying to make myself spend sometime every day working on it. My goal now is to get it out of my hair, but, I can't just do a half-ass job at it! See why I'm feeling the pressure. BUT, if I go ahead and get it done, I can devote more time to the things I've having fun with - like the class reunion stuff and the new book club starting in the neighborhood!

I've really got to make a list of my chores for the next few months and priortize them - or I'll never get retired!

Happiness is a State of Mind

2008-06-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking alot lately about being happy. I think I may be about the happiest I've ever been in my life now.

Not to say there were not special days that can't be matched - like the days my babies were born, their first days in school, watching Renee enter the auditorium at graduation.

And, not to say there aren't still a few things that disturb me daily. Lynn is not back home fulltime, but I am hopeful and he will be one day and hopeful that he has a bright future ahead of him.

But, on a day to day, hour to hour, basis, I am happy, and I am proud of the fact that I've reached this point. I have reached a point of not being afraid to say no, and not worrying about saying exactly what I think. That does not give me a license to be mean, but, I am free from holding back and being miserable about it.

And I see the future - I'm not sure what it holds - but I'm fully expectant that it is there. I'm not scared of it and I dare to let my mind dream of the possibilities. Realizing I still had dreams and they can happen - well, the last of the shackles of despair slipped off and I've truly found myself again.

I feel like a whole new life is starting and I'm excited about it!

I just love Kid Rock!

2008-06-21T09:10:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know how bad he is BUT I still love him! There's just something about a tall skinny bad boy blondie that gets my attention, even at 48 years old, like nothing or nobody else.

Don't have an explanation for it, it's just what moves me.

Now Kid Rock has this new song out - a really cute summer time song - starts off with the music of Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" and switches to Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama". The only thing that makes this song not the anthem of my youth is where he says "summer of 89" and my summer was 79!! Well, 80, 81, 82, 83... you get the picture!

Really catchey arrangement and just a good remember when song for the summer - hope you get a chance to hear it soon! If you pass me in traffic I'll be the one with it cranked up singing along at the top of my lungs!

If I could just find a 1979 Buick Regal to drive!!

AND, I've added it to my blog songlist so you listen for yourselves! See if it doesn't make you smile and remember someone or something a little special from your younger days!

Fresh Produce

2008-06-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

I've joined a CSA - community supported agriculture - and our first food delivery was yesterday.

Pretty neat idea, you pay a membership fee, in this case $25.00 and that's payable once a year. You then get a weekly delivery of fresh produce and/or meat and eggs for a weekly fee. The minimum with this group is $20.00 for 1/4 bushel of fresh produce. That is what I started with, but I'm sure I will increase my order!

Yesterday the truck arrived at the newly renovated Coleman Park Community Center. The folks delivering were extremely nice and everything went really smooth, especially for the first time for a drop in this location. Several of my neighbors and friends were participating, so we were all there to take possession of our boxes.

My box included a good nice mess of green beans, about 10 new red potatoes, 6 summer squash, one large onion, 2 large bunches of green onions, about 10 green cucumbers and 4 lemon cucumbers! And a pint of blackberries!!

All very good quality and extremely fresh. I snapped the beans and put them on, got a blackberry cobbler in the oven, and make onion/cucumber salad to marinate in the fridge. Everything else I put in ziplocs for use today and thru out the week. The potatoes I scrubbed up and put on top of the green beans to cook.

I should probably be ashamed to say that I had 3 cucumbers and a huge serving of blackberry cobbler for supper! And, I had a huge serving of cobbler for breakfast! It's been years since I had fresh blackberry cobbler and I'm not sure I've ever had any better than what I made last night.

Renee got home from work after 10:00 PM - she had a bowl of the green beans and potatoes and said they were so delicious she was about to eat them all!

I can add one serving of meat and 1 dozen eggs to my haul for $10.00 more - which is probably what I'll do next week. This week, the folks that got meat got pork chops.

The meat raised, beef, pork, lamb and chickens, are all free range. No pens, no corn feed, they graze and mingle as livestock should. No antibiotics or steroids and the vegetables are grown organically without pesticides.

Most interestingly, Good Morning America did a segment this morning on CSA's and that you actually save money over the course of a year, besides getting better food products and supporting your local economy. I have much more to say on this issue - another blog, another day!

It's takes a special man to be Daddy

2008-06-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

Years ago, around 1980 or so, I bought a little wooden plaque at the Hallmark store on Church St. (near the L&C building) that said "Any man can be a father, it takes a special man to be a Daddy". On the plaque there were some assorted miniature tools - quite fitting for my Dad - and it was his Father's Day present that year.

I've still got that plaque - in the cedar chest where the things that have no other use but are too dear to my heart to do away with. I thought about it while watching the news last night and the piece on Barack Obama's address to the church in Chicago.

He said basically the same thing somewhere along these lines - any fool can be a father - the real courage is shown by staying and raising the child'. He was referring to the number of children whose "fathers are MIA" and he directly said it was especially in African American families.

I know he's right, he knows he is right and I hope that what he says is taken for what he meant it to be - a call to arms to stop this madness and move toward restoring family units and strengthening them. Bill Cosby said something very similar a few years back - about got himself lynched by his own race.

I'll vote for Obama - I am that much of a Democrat - and while I've been a Hillary girl for years - I will vote for Obama. Right now, it's looking like I may really like him by November.

Father's Day

2008-06-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

My dad was a character. Man of few words, but when he spoke no one (well, except Mom) contradicted him or questioned him. Whatever he had said was just the way it was going to be and that was that.

I remember sometime the summer of 1988 - either 4th of July or Labor Day, that part doesn't matter - I was pregnant with Renee and we were all at Mom and Dad's. We decided to cook out, which meant a trip to the store, a trip to my house to get the big grill, a trip to Larry's for something and I remember saying we'll (referring to me and the ex) do whatever we were about to do.

Before we could get started my Dad walked in and said, "well, you do this and you do that, etc" and realigned all of the jobs. No one said a word and everyone got busy, except me! He'd realigned everything so that I was left sitting on the couch without a task. And while I'm thinking "Man I should be doing something!" my Mom asked me if I'd realized who he'd left sitting. That was all she said, all she needed to say!

When Renee was born the next winter, Daddy didn't come to the hospital when they induced me or anytime during the almost 23 hours that followed. He said he'd done his time and Ronnie (the ex) would just have to do his! But, somewhere around 5:00 AM when they decided I was about to be an emergency C-section, and Mom called him, she said he must have been up and dressed because she thought he appeared in front of her before she hung up the phone!

Later in recovery when they only let folks in one at a time, I was a little surprised to see my dad come around the curtain first. I didn't know he was there at all! He didn't say too much, except that she was beautiful, but not the prettiest little girl he'd ever seen! He hugged me and told me he loved me, then he scooted right out!

He's been gone almost 13 years, but everyday of my life I remember something about him, something he said, something he didn't say (he never said I told you so, even when he could have!), remember his strength, drive and determination. I love you Daddy!

Rainy Saturday

2008-06-14T07:36:00.001-07:00

Is there just anything better than waking up hearing the rain on a morning you don't have to get up? It's the best nap ever, to just fade back into darkness with the rain gushing thru the gutter, the house still dark because it's cloudy, everybody else still knocked out, including the cat! I slept for over 2 hours like this today and it was wonderful!

I was aware, very briefly, that the rain was coming down harder a couple of times. And, when I've finally gotten up and made myself a pot of coffee and fed the cat, the kids are still sound asleep, the cat has gone back to sleep, and I don't know what to do with myself. I may even get back in bed for another nap!!

Seriously, I've got some organizing, etc. to do today. I had planned to clean carpets - that may be out - not sure. Renee has to be at work in a little over an hour so the silence here is about over. Lynn will drag out soon and fuss about how empty the fridge is!

So, I get to enjoy the computer a little longer with nobody snorting around like they're just waiting for me to get off so they can check their myspace or email!! Damn cat!

Keeping your Brain Working

2008-06-11T17:28:00.000-07:00

The last post reminded me, I saw a report on Good Morning America about ways to keep your brain functioning, to challenge it, and hopefully delay or prevent Alzheimer's or dementia.

That may be my greatest fear in life right now, besides what will become of my son. I don't want to lose my mind and not know what's going on. I am a very large person, taking care of me if I have no clue what's going on will be impossible and I couldn't stand to put that burden on anyone.

Anyway, I'm sure you can review the report on the abc.news website but there was one thing on there I've tried and have to tell you about.

I am right handed, it said whichever hand you are, try doing stuff with the other one, especially brushing your teeth. I've taught myself to write decently with my left hand, but, brushing my teeth was a whole other experience. Awkward to say the least, but I could tell that my mind was really having to work at it. The pressure is all different and the up and down motions were backwards - it really was a chore but I got it done. For the next while until I get it mastered, I'm brushing with the left hand.

Then on to the next chore to try and keep my mind spinning in control!

Book Club

2008-06-11T17:21:00.000-07:00

OK - just about the time I think I'm wrapping up at least one project and I'm moving a little closer to really being in retirement, something else comes up. Yesterday a friend mentioned to me a book club starting in our neighborhood and then laughed when she said my face really lit up!

I love to read - always have. It's hard for me now - so next month I'll make the trip to the opthamologist and get those new glasses I need. I had already planned on getting a reading chair and high power lamp to read by - so I should be set. Reading outside in the natural light is easy - if I could just stand the heat!!

When we moved to Nashville in 1969, one of the first things my mom did was take us to the Public Library and get us cards. The little town we came from in Glasgow didn't have one. Back then, you could check out 8 books at a time, and I did. On library day, I'd sat up almost all the way thru the night and finish 1, 2 or even 3 of the books I'd checked out. Mysteries were always my favs even back then.

It's exciting to think about a book club. I have been way impressed with the young lady who suggested this - she has quite a list of authors she enjoys. So, I really look forward to expanding my horizons in reading. Also, reading is one of those things that keeps your brain working and helps to delay, if not prevent, Alzheimers. I'd like to avoid that if at all possible.

So, something else to keep you updated on in the future - look for our first selection and my opinions on it as we begin this adventure.

Blogging Ideas

2008-06-10T10:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I run out of ideas to blog about. I know that sounds crazy because I can run my mouth forever, but, there are moments I just think of a subject to expound on and share my infinite volume of wisdom on. So, I have a challenge. I know I have a few regular readers - and to you I said a huge thank you!! I appreciate you taking the time to see what I'm preaching about today, but since I seem to have hit a lulll - what do you want to know about?

Comment back with a question or suggestion - I'll be glad to say something about the subject, no matter what it is!

Look forward to hearing from you!

Remembering Mom

2008-06-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

Five years ago today my mother died. It really wasn't a surprise, how quick it happened possibly. Her health had been going and the last month rapidly.

My mom was one classy lady. And she taught all of us that class does not have financial roots. We were never rich by any standards, my parents worked hard and we lived modestly. But, she taught us to stand tall and meet the world full face. AND literally at that! I can remember her telling me to stand up straight, put my shoulders back, raise my head, swing my legs from the hip joint - all of these being good for your posture and skeletal health, but for your presentation and confidence.

I hear her words in my head, 'there's no sin in being poor, but there is no excuse to be dirty', 'don't even bother doing something if you're not going to do it right', 'do your best and everything will work out fine', 'be sure the memories you make are something you and the rocking chair can handle when it's just you and the rocking chair', 'if you behave one half as good as you look, you'll be fine'.

I've said all of these to my kids, plus some other more colorful anecdotes - Mom did have a way with words, especially if you frustrated her. I've always been overweight but she taught me how to dress in flattering styles and colors and would never allow me to be sloppy, be dirty, wear ill fitting tight clothes, or "roll like a slug" when I walked. And yes, those were her exact words!

She always believed we could do anything we set our minds to and she gently pushed until her dying day for each of us to strive a little harder. I find myself doing that with my kids, pushing, working, encouraging, and sometimes just listening. She was the smartest woman I ever knew and I'm so glad she was my mother.

There are big days in your life, the day you graduate, the day you get married, and the day your children are born. These are the good days. There are some big days not so good - those being the day your parents die, the day your marriage ends, and God help those you've had to live thru this one, the day a child dies.

I remember vividly the day my mother died, but more importantly, I remember the way she lived, the standard she set, and her determination and drive. I love you momma!

Budget

2008-06-07T07:42:00.000-07:00

That's a 6 letter word most folks just cringe at - and I've been one of them at times. Living on a fixed income, I had to work within a range. But, some major changes will be happening in my life and to my cash flow soon - so it's become necessary for me to really have a plan so that I can continue to survive and eat!

Turned out - it wasn't so hard. I sat down with a legal pad, made a page for each month remaining in 2008. Listed what would be due on the left, made a list on the right of expected income.

So this week was Social Security week - I call it my "big check". I have managed to pay everything that was due in June except for one small item. Of course, the variables for the remainder of the month are food and gas, and each is going up daily. We've cut back dramatically on driving, combining trips, trying to make each mile count.

My son has a bus pass - it's about $50 but he's adept at getting to the locations he needs to and is much much cheaper than me driving him around. And, I'm hopeful that the visual education he is getting will make him appreciate his home and mother more, along with giving him a desire to be better than average. Believe me, there is nothing wrong with the bus and I rode it for years when I worked downtown - Lynn doesn't understand my pushing him, says he's happy to be barely average, and I want more for him than that.

Anyway, back to the budget. With the economy where it's at, you've got to know what's coming in and what's going out. My plan is very simple so try it. Write in pencil - much easier to make changes. Mark things paid with a big PD - it'll make you smile when you see the progress you're making.

AND, you know what - that $2-3 dollars a day on 20 oz Diet Cokes that I'm not spending now - theres one tank of gas for the month! If the economy doesn't improve, I may get all this weight off!! But that's a blog for another day!

Progress Report

2008-06-06T11:18:00.000-07:00

I looked backed over the last post or two - couldn't really decide what to write about today - so thought I'd just to a progress report - an update to what's been going on!

Diet Coke Rehab - I am 19 days in - I did succumb to a 20 oz yesterday with my gyro - mostly because they were out of Dr. Pepper and Renee brought home the Diet Coke. It was beyond my realm of imagination to put it in the fridge and drink water. All in all, I am feeling much better, lighter in fact, although I'm sure that's mental because I don't think a pound has gone anywhere!

Decluttering - some major progress in the last week or so - my living room is starting to look pretty shabby - all of the latest get rid of stuff is being stacked in there. I'd really like to finish up my bedroom this weekend and sort what's in the living room. Some of it is "wait for a yard sale in the fall" and some of it is "get on EBAY NOW!!".

Class Reunion - have been having fun with that! I've actually got it posted to every community calendar I can find and have got some great information together for the "reunion yearbook" I plan to put together.

Kids - status quo - Renee is babysitting a very special little girl this weekend. It is very trying and she'll be exhausted, mentally, when it's over. But I can't imagine any better birth control! Lynn may come for a day this weekend, he's a little on my bad side today.

It's going to be so hot that I'll stay inside this weekend until the sun goes down. Two nights this week my neighbor and I have sat outside until almost 9:00 PM. It's been so nice, especially since the neighbor behind us moved about a month ago. Nothing like the peace we've had since then!!

Have a great weekend!

A Reunion in Planning Stages

2008-06-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

Some old classmates and I met Saturday to begin planning a reunion for this fall. By old, I don't mean OLD as in aged, but OLD as in back in the day! Needed to clarify that one! Still cute and still cool were we!

It was fun and we got several things planned out - got the juices flowing actually and I've come up with several more things. I did tell our coordinator she'd have to tell me to stop, just stop! I have a tendency to just keep making something bigger and bigger and bigger until Cox's army wouldn't have enough folks to do all the work I've set out. That could be part of my physical problem right now, always trying to do the mostest and bestest of anyone!

And who was Cox? And who was his army? I heard that my whole life and have no clue....anyway, I digress!

I am quite excited and hope we have a good turnout! I didn't make the 10 year, I was pregnant and it was one insufferable summer in Nashville. Made the 20 with the idiot husband in tow, need I say more about that one. So for 30, I'm up and ready to have a blast. Just dawned on me, that although we talked about this Saturday, I should probably consider a designated driver that night. I may want to throw back a few!!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-06-01T16:10:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday! I am 48 years old which surprises me to no end - that I've lived this long. On most hands though, I feel like I've not done anything yet and there are so many things I want to do in the future.

Right after I woke up today, Renee came in with cupcakes, a balloon, a rose, a birthday card and a gift card to Barnes and Noble. She said she bought that so I'd have to spend it on myself - if she'd given me a VISA gift card, I'd end up spending it on her and Lynn! What a smart girl!! Lynn gave me the bestest hug!!

I ate cupcakes and had coffee in bed and have proceeded to not accomplish one thing today! I've sat on the deck a couple of times, played on the internet, talked to the kids, and generally been so lazy I'm on my own nerves!

Tomorrow I must get something accomplished, but for today, it's been nice to not put too much pressure on myself. I'm sure as I'm writing this that my Martha Stewart sheets from Mother's Day are calling my name and I'll soon be back in the bed sitting up watching reruns.